An induction date, amazing doctors, and an update.

You know what is absolutely amazing to me? How the hardest times of our lives can also be the times with the most peace. It seems to be the biggest oxymoron, but the past few weeks have been some of the most challenging for us and yet we have felt peace and unbelievable support and we have found so many reasons to have joy. 

As an update on our little baby: My doctors have had me on a super high calorie diet for the past 2 and a  half weeks (about 4000 calories a day) to try and put some weight on our little guy. At our appointment on Friday there was a little growth, but nothing really significant or what we were hoping for. His heart looks as if it will be able to withstand natural labor (at least that's the plan for now) which is a blessing and so we induced at 39 weeks, or this Sunday, March 3rd. We almost delivered him this past Friday because he was consistently failing stress tests and heart monitoring, but after spending all day at the hospital he bounced back and our doctors and specialists agreed it was OK to wait one more week so long as we come in every other day for stress tests and ultrasounds.

The hard news we got was that his femur bones are under the 5% percentile for growth and that he has multiple markers for Downs Syndrome. We chose not to have the testing done for it early on in the pregnancy and any testing now would take about 2 weeks to process and we'd be delivered by then so we are choosing to wait till he's born. We've had multiple ultrasounds done with various specialists and each come back showing the same results and markers for Downs, but without a genetic test we won't be 100% positive of the diagnoses till he's born.

I've cried a lot about this. Not because I feel like Downs would be a disadvantage for our son or that we could possibly love him less, but more because I'm afraid of how the world would treat him. Either way, we really are so excited to bring another little boy home. Because of all the ultrasounds and appointments we've had about this little guy, I feel so close to him already. Being able to see his little face on the screen so many times has been a huge blessing because I feel like I've connected with him . That I know him. I didn't feel that with Rhett before he was born.

We are SO grateful for the prayers and good thoughts that you have sent our way. We really truly have felt strengthened. Thank you for being so amazing. :)

Sometimes things don't go as planned

For the past few weeks the most common comment I get on my pregnancy is how small I still am. 

Truthfully, I didn't give it much thought. I was small with Rhett, but when I started to look at pictures of my pregnancy with him compared to where I am now, I realized I was much smaller now than I was then. Again, I didn't give much thought.

On Tuesday at my appointment, my doctor expressed concern that my belly was still measuring like I was 32 weeks (I'm 36) and suggested we do another ultra sound to see if the baby was growing. 

The ultrasound confirmed what my doctor thought, the baby hasn't grown much at all in the past month. The first concern was that something was wrong with the placenta or umbilical cord so we went to a specialist yesterday to see what was going on. The good news from the appointment was that the placenta and umbilical cord look normal, but we're still not sure why the baby has stopped growing. 

The news we didn't expect from this appointment was that the baby's leg bones are aren't fully developed, they're shorter than they should be, and that there are two apparent issues with his heart. 

We're waiting to get an appointment with a cardiologist and the next 2 weeks will determine a lot about if we'll deliver the baby early to make sure we can get him to gain weight and grow and how we'll deliver him (natural or c-section) based on the strength of his heart.

Both Jake and I are amazed at the ability we have to create life and feel that this process is nothing short of miracle and we know that sometimes things don't go as planned. We feel peaceful that though this little guy might have a rough start, but that ultimately everything will be OK.  

If you could keep us and our little guy in your thoughts and prayers we would be so extremely grateful.