2014 and me

2014 is a big year for me.

I just turned 29.

The big two-nine. Twenty nine.
I’ve spent the past year dreading this year.
One year closer to leaving my twenties for the rest of my life.
As if ushering in the final year of my twenties somehow meant saying goodbye to my youth.

Just the other day, I was watching reruns of Friends, when it hit me—I am officially older the characters of my beloved childhood show. As a teenager growing up watching the show, I never imagined this day would actually arrive.

And yet, here I am.

In so many ways, I’m becoming irrelevant in segments of life I once thought were so important.

Which has me thinking…
It’s funny how quickly things change.
How one day, you just wake up and you’re…older.
Not old. Just older.

On my 29th birthday, I had the realization that I’ve spent the last year in a power struggle of sorts. A struggle between growing into a more mature, self-aware and wholehearted version of myself, while also hanging on to my youth with every ounce of strength I have.

What am I holding on to so tightly?
What am I afraid of losing by embracing this new chapter of my life?
Sure, those 18-year-old abs were fabulous. But so what?
Those abs are long gone now, and I have two blue eyed boys to show for it.
So what is it?

I didn’t have an answer. But as I lay there in bed I came up with my resolution for 2014.

A resolution to not let this year be wasted mourning my ridiculous notion of youth. And, a resolution to (ESPECIALLY) not allow another year to go by hanging on to a former version of myself that I don’t even recognize anymore.

So my word for 2014 is CONFIDENCE.

Confidence in myself as a mother.

Confidence as an adult and confidence in my opinions and thoughts.

Confidence in myself and not feeling like I need to change depending on who I'm with or where I am.

Confidence in my own personal beauty.

I want to spend this year getting ready to enter next year as the best version of myself. The version that I've spent 29 years building and am still trying to figure out. :)

Since I'm working on confidence, here's a pic rocking the bed head and no make up. 

Here's to growth and confidence. :)

And tomorrow I'll be sharing our family's goals and a sneak peak of our plans for our backyard overhaul.

And if you're interested in my last years goal click HERE. I'll give an update on how it went next week.