lost in translation

We're a non fancy single-lingual family, but half the time the kids no hablo human.

Rad's still pretty much exclusively in the grunt and beat chest camp and Rhett's got the attention span of a very cute squirrel, which means we repeat ourselves mucho times...with .2% comprehension.

I'll take it.

Some gems they've dropped on our drums as of late...that we really can't follow/understand/even have a clue what they are talking about.

Trying to follow Rhett's story line for his toys when we play together:

Rhett: I'm going to Jesus because I'm an old ninja turtle.

Rhett: You have to carry the baby dragons and get them married?
Julia: Where?
Rhett: Under the dragon's belly!

Rhett: Blue ninja we have to check killing the blue whale off the list!

The most frustrating daily, hourly, any time we leave the house, conversation:

Julia: Where did the sandal go?
Rad: Stare
Rhett: Hmmm where DID that sandal go? Hmm...
Rad: Stare
Julia: I just had the sandal ... seriously ... did one of you take it?
Rhett: No! I didn't take that sandal!!! Maybe the dog took it! (We don't have a dog.)
Rad: Grunting and mad that we stopped moving 3 steps into the sojourn.
Julia: Fine, I'll go find another pair
Rhett: Okay, that sounds good.
Rad: STARE

Idioms, pop culture sayings - all lost on 4 year old ears:

Jake: Is this cool or what?!
Rhett: Or what..?

Rhett's idea of what DJ Snake and Lil Jon are singing (...yelling?) in Turn Down for What:

Rhett: Turn down the water!
Rhett: Turn down the water!

Another misheard lyric, the chorus of the song "Everybody Dance Now!"

Rhett's version: Everybody, PANTS DOWN!

Any reference to time is met with this:

Rhett: When will my friends be here?

Julia: In 20 minutes.

Rhett: OK. How many weeks is that? 

Everyone says that the reason Rad isn't talking yet (seriously, we've got "ott oh!" and "woof" and "MAMA!")  is because Rhett does all the talking for him. I'm not convinced, but he still communicates...kind off:

Rad (with a bucket of toys): (Blowing) Fffffffffff. (Puts toy down, picks up another) Fffffffffff. (Repeat X100)

He blows on his toys like they are hot food...does that count?

After Rhett stumble-tripped into our room at night: 

Jake: Did your leg fall asleep?
Rhett: Fall asleep??  Why do your legs get tired?
Jake: When the blood circulation get's cut off and your leg gets all tingly they fall asleep.
Jake: Do you feel pins and needles?
Rhett: Yeah....what are pins and needles?
Jake: Like pokeys.
Rhett: Yeah. Like pokeys from the porcupines.

Not lost in translation:

Rad giving me the chubby finger: No NO!

I was trying to take his snack away. (I got the point.)

Also contributed by Rad, and open to interpretation: 

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          /

Deep thoughts Rad. Deep thoughts.

Oh! And one more from Jake.

Watching Lord of the Rings (can you feel the love tonighttt...?):

Jake: Wait...are the speaking Spanish?
Julia: Who?
Jake: The orcs.
Julia:
Jake: They're chanting "holla" right?
Julia:
Julia: Are you serious?
Jake: I swear they're saying "holla"!