Wednesday, July 1, 2015

the hot(test) minute

Back in December our downstairs heating/AC unit went on the fritz. We tried to get our YouTube Air Conditioning Repairman degree but failed the final. So sad. So many dreams dashed. It wasn't a big deal at the time because winter's here are awesome and we really never turn on the heat or air then anyway. We decided to save our pennies to get it professionally fixed and decided a ceiling fan would be a happy medium for the time being.

Jake hung that fan in our 19 foot tall ceilings right up like a boss. I thought we should hire someone but obviously I stand corrected until the end of time.

You can imagine how the 18 foot ladder was received by the dare devil gurus.

So! Almost 6 months later, we've finally pulled the trigger, bit the bullet, whatever the whatever and got our air conditioners fixed. Yay - funnest purchase ever.

(And yes I pluralized the AC units that needed work. About three weeks ago our upstair's compressor received the kiss of death along with it's capacitor. We fixed those immediately because having your house at 87 degrees before 9:04AM does not bode well for ones sweat glands. Among other things.)

We decided to just do any and all maintenance that both units needed after that sweaty scare. The fix it guy was going to come over "for 30 minutes" to walk me through different options and give me quotes (and I was fully prepared with my "we just want basic - not a bell or whistle in sight - please and thank you!" speech to be delivered with a smile) but after 4 minutes of sitting at the table with the boys as they ate lunch and Rhett peppered him with questions like, "Are you a mans or a teenager?" (I don't know if he was a day over 19 so...jury's out there) he popped up from his chair and told me he'd just email the quotes instead.

Come on, Brian, you can't hang with the crazies?

No, he was really nice and polite and I appreciated that he didn't give me the deets on different units because no comprendo that kind of prattle. He sent quotes that are a bit cheaper than we'd anticipated - never happens so...bright sides abounding.

The small cloud of bad news was the caveat that they threw in that it might be better to just replace the downstairs unit completely which although was cheaper than we thought, was way more lettuce than the basic maintenance package.

After much hemming and hawing over whether the best option was to fix all the issues or just shell out for a new unit, we met somewhere in the middle of affordable short term fixes and have-to-eat-Ramen-forever-and-ever-amen.

The repairs at least get us through the summer and only one Costco pack of deodorant.

^^^ The "mans".

Rhett was livid that I wouldn't let him talk to "his guys" outside and Rad threw a tantrum so great that at one point he was open and closing the oven door with the force of a resurrected Goliath. I tried to ignore him but I couldn't hold my laughter in any longer when Rhett got involved and up in his screaming grill as he told him that "Daddy wasn't home to save him" and that "maybe he wanted to go to timeout for a bittle bit?"

We always put our best foot forward when company comes over.

PS. Bring your own deodorant if it's above 110...

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Monday, June 29, 2015

Beck month 3 (and month 2 sneaking in)

He's growing up.

And I hate it.

At the risk of getting too personal on your viewing screen, this is our last baby and knowing this makes every week's passing bittersweet.

Obviously we're big fans of big, stocky boys around here, but if someone were to invent a newborn growth stunting machine...I'd be tempted to keep the celery stalk legs, slit eyes, and pterodactyl squawks around for a little while longer.

Beck turned 3 months on Father's Day (based on is actual due date he's only 7 weeks) and he has a few tricks to show for it. He smiles occasionally, cries sometimes, mastered a poop schedule and flails his t-rex arms about always.

His first smiles were exclusively for Rhett, although how much Rhett claimed Beck shot a grin his way you'd think that Beck had a perfectly timed perma grin that turned straight faced as soon as anyone rushed in with a photo taking device.

Beck's first months were full of constipation ("they're sharing poop stories now....? Ew.") which was no bueno for him (and selfishly us). So we are thanking our lucky stars that his rumpus-endus finally hit it's stride. One particular diaper change, Beck decided he had a little more to get out mid diaper change. Jake was on duty (har har har) for this particular change and has he waited for Beck to finish getting his business out he said "I don't feel like I've know you long enough yet to share this with you..."

Well it made me laugh.

Also worth documenting:

- He has grown out of his newborn clothes and it's breaking my sappy heart.

- He weighs somewhere around 10 lbs based on our scale. Which means he has over doubled his birth weight and has the man boobs to prove it. We get a kick out of everyone telling us still how tiny he is because to us he's now gargantuan.

- Still eats every three hours. So tired. Such big dark circles.

- Beloved sleeping postion: on Jake's chest.

- General mood is very chill. He still sleeps like a newborn during the day, but he is awake from about 2 -3:30 every afternoon and it's his favorite time to practice being extra needy. So he blogs with me while Rad naps and Rhett has quite time.

He proofreads my posts. (Wink...if you catch all my typos you know I need to hire a legit proof reader.)

Happy 1/6 of a year, Beckett. You're the best in the west.

*And if you care... Rhett and Rad at three months.

^^^ Rhett

^^^ Rad

*And making up for failing to blog about his glorious second month of life...two pictures of his tiny status.

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Friday, June 26, 2015

the post in which we relax

I didn't think there was anything more annoying and sticky and gross to clean up than formula. But there is! There always is, isn't there? Try finding a used, ultra crust bottle under your bed and realizing that's where that smell was emanating from. Then you decide to clean the foul BPA free beverage holder you discover that formula can grow legitimate mold. 

Bleeping Discovery Zone around here. Learn something new every second and all of THAT.

But I'm not here to teach you about all things gross. No, I'm here to tell you about the kindness and generosity of others because combined with our 5:30 AM wake up sessions courtesy of Beck and a lack of any form of date night respite, Jake and I have been feeling a little desperate for some R&R but after this past weekend I think we might just make it another 3 months at least. We just might. 

Anyway, Jake's dad let us come and visit for Father's Dat at his house with this pathetic little backyard...

It must be hard to have such a sad little oasis. So hard.

If you wanted to know our odds of ever having a girl, I present the two pictures above ^^^ for your statistical analysis. 1 girl...8 males...I can feel my XX chromosomes having a good chuckle.


Rad was terrified of water that touched above his ankles unless he was pressed up fully against an adult. I was shocked that he was such a little lady about the pool but then I realized most of his recreational water experience is with splash pads, not chlorinated bodies of water.  Either way it was just fine with me for the time being.

But thanks to grandpa, he eventually warmed up to the idea of actual swimming. 

Sort of.

The boys LOVE Jake's dad. Rad ran right into his arms which is something he doesn't even do to me unless he's suffered a life threatening injury like a dirt on his hands and Rhett won't stop pestering us about grandpa's whereabouts and when we're going back. Maybe grandpa would be interested in running a little summer camp for toddlers? Wink.

Usually Rhett is Team Mom but when it comes to anything pool related, Team Dad rules the roost. 

I can't figure out why...Jake is so uninvolved.

But for Rad, anyone who will splash is his favorite.

Which works just fine for me and my happy perma-perch on the side lines.

Yes, yes, you are right...I could just as easily be replaced with a water happy dog.

Behold the nerdy pool boy.

He's rip roaring ready to walk the pool perimeter and get nary a drop of water on his flippers.

And we were totally spoiled with and amazing selection of grilled goodness. Jake was so happy to have real, not-the-cheapest-option meat that he ate a brat, and hamburger and chicken. After all, it WAS Father's Day.

Ever since I learned that rogue crocodiles are occasionally are found in people's pools in Florida (1000 miles away... makes no difference to my sound logic) that I am now 120% convinced I might find one in one of the many pools in AZ. But I don't dare voice that fear to my kids because...well, I am slightly smarter than a rock. But I always check the water before they get in justincase.

Beck was there too and I do love him...but there was always someone else willing to hold him which I also loved. Big time.

It was one of our funner weekends as of late and we can't thank Grandpa and Co. enough for letting us descend and invade!

And now we're back to the grind. Formula crusties and all. 
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Thursday, June 25, 2015

the backyardigns

We need to bite the bullet and and buy a new air conditioner because our house is really bleeping hot. We knew it was an old unit when we bought the house and that it would need to be replaced or have major maintenance done on it, but when you're presented with a house that doesn't reek of cat urine or cigarettes like the previous houses you looked at don't care to think that far ahead. But! When you're stewing in your own sweaty juices by 8:10 every single morning you start to think that far ahead while lingering in front of the open freezer. (We had some friends over a few weeks ago and the poor husband parked himself under our living room's ceiling fan after dinner and left with a very damp neckline on his polo. So sorry! Come back soon...??)

So...we go outside and live it up poolside until lunch and naps most mornings.

Maybe I should've sprung for the $18.99 dollar pool instead of buying this $10 dollar wonder. Whatever. This activity combined with a six minute trip to the playground (crawling with helicopters spraying their young with SPF 180 and following their every blink and whine) this morning better guarantee that Rad's nap will go until Jake returns home from work at sundown and the the Netflix Nanny with entertain Rhett for at least an hour. Or at the very least this summer activity, combined with hose-use privileges will launch me into the running for Mother of the Millennium...and beyond.

Jake always says Rad is such a bully but I don't know what he's talking about.

And let's talk about how NOT naked my nudist lovers are. I wrangled up some swimsuits for this jaunt in the backyard  (I have been known to let the kids do a little backyard naked time with the hose, as only true southwest white trash can) and I could almost hear the roars of approval from our neighbors. I'm sure my kids frequent streaking has some negative effects on their home equity.

C'est la classiest life.

Sometimes Rhett pulls a faux nap to get Rad to leave him alone which works about as well as you'd imagine it might.

When Rhett grabs the hose head and gives the holder a stare of death you know he means mean business because (shockingly!) everyone in the backyard wants that seven spray-options "water blaster".  It's an intense political drama daily. 

And when it's not Rad's turn to be the hose master he tries to shut the hose down hard. We raise nothing but the sweetest of hearts around here.

If Beck is awake he joins me at my lifeguarding post...

Judge not...I stripped him down to his skivvies right after this pic to avoid overheating.

And Jake is asking why I haven't yet blogged about his tomato plant(s).

He says plants, I say Godzilla of the Bush.

"Are they making a lot of salsa?" you wonder. 


Olé...olé, olé, olé.

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