Monday, May 23, 2016

Rhett and Rad chat

In the wilds of potty training Rad:

Rad: I'm too grumpy to potty train today.
Rad: I'm just not in da mood to potty train.
Rad: I'll just wear a diaper today, please.
Rad: I just want to be a baby and Rhett can be the big boy.

Upside vs Downside:

Rhett: You smell like vanilla ice cream and pineapples.
Rhett: And you're really nice and squishy.

After school:

Rhett: "OH MY GOSH WHY IS MY LIFE SO HARD?"  as he did his homework with crayons.

The theme of Rad and Beck's brotherhood:

Rad: Tan I shoot Beck with my laser gun?
Julia: No!
Julia: Do you understand why?
Rad: Cause I didn't say pwease?

Watching Beck power crawl across the living room and face plant on the rug:

Rhett: Come on Beck.
Rhett: Pull yourself together.

Hanging out in the bathtub:

Rhett: Well, Rad.
Rad: What?
Rhett: You just need to know that girls grow babies in their bellies and boys grow big poop in theirs.
Rad: Oh.

Which is possibly what prompted this idea:

Rad: (running to the bathroom) I'm just a little boy and my body is full of POOP!

A slow brewing fight:

Rhett: Rad! Stop it!!!!
Rad: NOOO!!
Rhett: Stop being a pest!!!
Rhett: Well your mom doesn't like you.
Rhett: And she likes everyone.
Jake: Did he just quote Justin Bieber?

Playing "Who/what am I thinking of?"  in the van:

Rhett: I'm thinking of someone white and fluffy.
Rad: (without missing a beat) JESUS!!
Rhett: (exasperated) Rad. Jesus isn't a white guy.
Rhett: But I think his beard is pretty fluffy.

Seeing a picture of this guy on my FB feed:

Rhett: Who is that?
Julia: Donald Trump.
Rhett: Hmmmm.
Rhett: He doesn't have any friends, does he?
Julia: (Insert the deepest belly laughs)

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Monday, May 16, 2016

short stories

Taking a whole month off of blogging means I have so many lose ends to to type out in a grand catch up post/trilogy/dramatic TV mini series. There are far too many photos on my phone that I refuse to part with...mamarazzi needs her memory bank. SO while the little men nap...into a post they go.

Read on if you're not swamped with life.

Look at this fine art masterpiece.

It's OK if you bust a chuckle. I do eeeeevery time I see it. If you wanted to know what kind of 80s mom hair I'd be rocking back then- question no more. Bouffant hair all the way.

My poor kids. When it comes to anything remotely crafty or creative or art-oriented...I'm what you might politely call, "challenged." I swear there was a glitch in the old brain building system in utero with me because try as I might, beyond coloring books and crayons...I just can't.

Rhett however, art masterpiece creator. Latest creation: the vampire sloth.

He said he felt "lots of inspiring" while making it.

Jake found this ominous warning when he drank the milk out of his cereal bowl courtesy of Godfather Rad. 

Every year we've been married Jake has had a garden of some variety in the summer. And every summer we've yielded a big fat zero in produce despite Jake's best plant wooing skills.  But this year! This year was the year of the carrots. 

Lots of carrots!

And even more miraculous bunny food bounty, romaine lettuce and a handful or snow peas. 

If Rhett and Rad had their way they would subsist solely on chicken nuggets, peanut butter with apples/pretzels/toast, goldfish crackers, taquitios, and the latest additions of black olives (Rad) and raspberries (Rhett). So, I guess I have to admit that they are kind of a picky eaters -- minus the kind of.

So when they both excitedly dug into the lettuce (dipped in ranch) and snow peas it was a jaw dropping moment in our house.  So gardening.  It's is the best! Who knew?!

Lately when we go outside to play - the big boys usually race bikes and scooters ("tooters" from Rad's mouth) down the driveway over and over and over again while Beck makes and samples rock + grass + sidewalk chalk + dirt casseroles in his lap over and over and over again. To each their exotic own.

Our neighborhood backs up to this stretch of desert scenery and flowering cacti. We've loved trailblazing the clearly marked paths with our fellow outdoorsy friends. One Saturday we we went on a walk (some might call it a hike due to the hill situation but we won't get into the nitty) and had a good time with many snack breaks.

Rhett and Rad decided to change up the dress code toward the end. They like half-naked, casual hikes.

And no desert hike would be complete without a snake meet-n-greet. All the boys made BFFs with the creature like he was a fluffy puppy or Pixar woodland creature.

When the snake loving children of mine got the idea that I might want to also touch the snake, my insides died a little. My current fearset goes a little something like this: predators, people not liking me, snakes, chapped lips with no chapstick around, and running out of diapers. So snakes are my bronze medal fear.

And for right now the boys think I'm a decently cool mom but I'm confident that reign is coming to an end. So if touching a snake keeps me in their cool graces then I'll do it.

Heebie-jeebies the whole time. Cringe.

Rhett's school had their biggest fundraiser a few weekends ago, their Spring Spectacular.  We had a limited amount of post Beck's afternoon nap/pre-bedtime time but we made the most of it and even with the perfect evening weather and all the school's families in attendance, we didn't have to wait in any significant lines (minus the roller coaster line. That was fun.).

I'm fairly certain that Rad died and ascended straight to heaven because the boy loves a good ride.
Rhett might have had a touch of kiddie ride PTSD  after a very tame kiddie roller coaster fiasco of 18 months ago so he took a little bit longer to warm up to the idea of risking the merry-go-round.


Rad marched right up to the (very tame) kiddy "roller coaster" and got himself all set in one of the cars and insisted and insisted and insisted and insisted that he wanted to ride it.

And the little dare devil loved it. And so did Rhett. Which literally made my heart so happy because I love all roller coasters and have many grand dreams of us hitting up the mega coasters over the years. (Note: Jake likes some roller coasters but is much more particular about which he deems not too extreme.)

And one last short story.

Jake's work had a family day and we felt like we couldn't not go because socailzing and free family fun and so...we went! It was such a fun time and they had pony rides led by humans set up for the kids. The boys were so excited and happily waited in line for their turns in the saddle.

First up...

No issues, happy as a clam on a horse. Kentucky Derby here he comes.

Rad was slightly less enthused once he got on stage but managed to ride around with no tears and flirted with smiling for the briefest of seconds.

And that's all.

For now! ;)

Happy Monday. 

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Wednesday, May 11, 2016


When you haven't heard much from me in a few weeks that a sure fire sign life has entered into crazy once more. It's almost never the same crazy, and the crazy is never really gone, but sometimes it slams you and you're (read: I) am fumbling for a while as I try to get through it.

Over the past four weeks we've:

this really calls for a drumroll...

we got our house ready to put on the market
put on our house on the market
potty trained Rad

potty trained Ben (officially)

everyone got the stomach flu or strep of epic magnitude

all while showing the house at least once a day and making sure it didn't smell like the plauge.

I hosted two baby showers

and raised $2100 for Rhett's school fundraiser

Jake worked an unusual amount of late late hours

which thankfully payed off in some big success.

And we sold out house! In a week!
And then turned around and bought a new house!

We're closing on both houses on June 23rd so for right now I feel like we have a brief moment of pause before the packing crazy train starts. So for right now we're catching up on all the eating and sitting and breathing the stress of the past few weeks denied us.

Fist bumps for adulting like a boss.

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Thursday, April 7, 2016

lost boys

It's been a vision of mine for a long time that when the boys were older they would want to bring their friends to our house to hang out and eat us out of house and home. My logical side figures if I want that to be the case then I should probably start with the play dates now and surprise surprise we currently run out of fruit snacks and Goldfish crackers before you can say some sort of bodily function.   

Aaaand here's a confession. Having lots of really young, really energetic, really loud boys in the house isn't exactly my fave. I know it's so good and important and man am I selfish, but the multiple play dates a week at our house sometimes make me like it's a circus. And who doesn't love the circus?! ;) But. It's important to me for the boys sake so we keep the elephant's marching. Errrrrrrrday. It's all about the big picture am I right?

Okay, let's cut to the fun stuff.

I believe Tuesday afternoon sets the stage nicely and should give you an idea of just how lively our playdates can be when I was in the mood to do something, "fun and spontaneous with the boys" and thought ice cream sounded like a nice treat and so....we found ourselves invading Freddy's ice cream shop.

All five of them plus me.

Lil' charmers. Especially stoic Beckett. He's not easy to impress. 

Getting to this point involved a barbershop quartet of bodily function sound effects. It was close to a Handel's Messiah of farts.

I was a real dictator about the boys sitting and waiting for me to get all the treats to the table (and to snap a pic) before letting them partake. Because I trust the boys about 0% when it comes to food in an uncontrolled environment.

Allow the following pictures to demonstrate why:

It's a real monkey see - monkey do set up.

The glorious miracle that graced our outing was when the whole police force showed up to instill the fear of authority into the boys. Just kidding they came to enjoy some good food as the totally deserve.

But maybe I did mention a few times that the police could, maybe, possibly put them in a time out if they threw one more french fry. Because I'm not opposed to taking advantage of a little intimidation style discipline when it pulls up in a squad car. And then when Rad ran into the men's room and a rugged policeman needed to go in and pull him just bolstered my case. 

 Post ice cream and french fries I loaded them all up and set up camp at the nearest park to wait for Jake to get home from work so that we might transfer the parental duties and power as soon as humanly possible. My heart and its generosity knows no bounds. 

And he was treated like kid royalty upon his arrival.

Happy memories and heart emojis abounding.

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