Friday, November 20, 2015

the flood

When I don't get a chance to blog for a few weeks that a sure fire sign life has entered into crazy once more. It's almost never the same crazy, and the crazy is never really gone, but sometimes it slams you and you're (read: I) am fumbling for a while as I try to get through it.

Usually I can manage the crazy pretty well. Everyday, seven days a week I try really freaking hard to think ahead and solve the problems before they happen. Like Rainman style, I'm counting which route requires the fewest steps thus increasing my efficiency. True story. I'm a real blast to be with. 

That being said, I'd like to share the story of, perhaps, one of my top 3 most mortifying Mom Moments yet and I really have no one but myself to blame. 




All this...?

My bad.

It  started out innocently enough. Rad needed a bath. I started one for him, went down stairs to get him and then totally forgot I left the tub running. After about half an hour Jake took Beck upstairs for his nap and found our new water feature. Usually this would send me into full scale chihuahua mode but I was like "hey, let's take pictures!" and Jake took over the chihuahua mode.

The boys were super excited about "the big ba-venture" in the bathroom. Rad's unwavering dedication to only drinking the highest quality water was and is still going strong.

Jake was totally justified is freaking out because the 2 inches of water in our master bath and half our bedroom because while the boys and I were frolicking, buckets of water were waterfalling (literally) into our garage leading to this...


 ...when we bought the house we replaced all the flooring except in these two rooms, the bathroom still had the nasty linoleum which is in no way water proof. All the water went right through the floor into  garage.


The major, epic silver lining to all this was that our insurance gave us a nice check to repair the damage. In order to stay in the budget we're doing all the labor and renovations ourselves. We like to call it #pimpmypotty.

Clearly we renovate in the lap of luxury.

I refuse to complain (too much) about this. We are super lucky that it wasn't worse and super lucky that our insurance was a total all star. But going to bed and waking up to see all this jazz is getting my OCD all funky. Our goal is to be done by Christmas aaaaaand we think it might be possible. 

Maybe Santa can throw in some volunteer some tiling hours. ;)

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Thursday, November 5, 2015

Rad's rules

I know there's a toddler-logic-short-and-sweet-post missing in your blog roll this morning. Now that's rectified.

^^^Rad loves all the lamas that come with the holiday season. Well you try telling him it's a reinndeer. Impossible.

Our middle child wakes up every morning and sets out on a mission to indoctrinate the world his rules for a successful life. Always yelled. Always repeated. Thrice. At least.

1. No no running away.

2.  No no touching fire.

3. No no touching (there's a theme) whales.

4. No no touching dad.


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Tuesday, November 3, 2015

this is halloween

Halloween: We freaking did it!

This year Halloween snuck up on me and it was a mad dash to get the costumes assembled and not forget the costume parade at kindergarten.   

But look! My most favorite fall activities checked of the list! We hit up the pumpkin patch to find the coveted perfect Jack-o-lantern pumpkins.* We hype up the patch to make the boys feel like the corn maze is as good as going to Disneyland. I think we have maybe 1 more year before that doesn't fly any more. One of my  most favorite things about pumpkin patches in Arizona is that they  don't serve hot cider or hot chocolate. They serve snow cones. Really.

*It should be mentioned that we didn't end up carving our pumpkins this year. Two or three years ago I would have stressed to infinity and beyond about that, but this year I realized the boys appreciate more the time spent together and not what's checked of the list. It's not an epic revelation but I know the evening we spent in backyard playing was just as good as if we had carved those pumpkins. At least I'm telling myself that. 

Back to the  patch. Rad was a bit of a pumpkin diva, OK a TOTAL pumpkin diva, insisting on certain ones and getting suuuper mad when he couldn't lift them. It kind of made me proud that he loved the patch as much as his mom.

These days every little dang thing is a competition to Rhett. So you can imagine the competitive spirit that pervaded the fun family outing. He went as far as to call himself the Pumpkin King. Rad did not like coming in second place.

The Kindergarten costume parade. Rhett and his best friend Everett were twinning.

Of course the dress up festivities were a month long affair 

Which is always a blast on days when you have a bazillion errands to run and the boys drink a bazillion juice boxes. Public restroom story goldmine. 

Overheard from stall

Rhett:  Iron Man lightning pee go!!
Rhett: PSHEWWW! (Sound effects)

Lately I have been trying hard to channel my sleeping artist self to become more of a domestic goddess. Wink. ;) So, of course, the Miller Halloween celebrations got a pretty good dose of my Martha Stewart aspirations. I decorated our front area really "awesome" in a not too scary spider-theme. Our neighbor said it was "sophisticated". Which is pretty much the weirdest halloween complement, but I will take it. 

Our biggest Halloween mistake also pictured above, buying the boys light-sabers that are quite hard and leave welts. Or as the boys call them light-savers.

If Luke Skywalker had a social media account this would be his throw-back-thrursday pic. Obvs.

On Halloween we went over to the Berner's for dinner and appetizers. I missed the memo that dinner and appetizers were meant to me Halloween themed. Tyrell went above and beyond. I ordered pizza. Ha. 

And then the homies went trick or treating.

The father figures were there to sample candy and light the way. The were A+ on all accounts.

Rad realized that if he stood in front of the door long enough they'd give him 2 servings of candy. It's never to early to find the loop holes.

And not to make this all about Rad, but I must express how proud I was of him trick or treating. Rad's speech has been a little delayed and his pronunciation is even a little further behind that. Even though he has come so far in the past month I was afraid he wouldn't be able to say trick or treat and be understood. But on Halloween night he was a rockstar. The neighbors couldn't say enough about how cute he looked and how fearless he was. Both the truest of true statements.

The boys had an absolute blast running up and down the sidewalks and chasing the big kids in their costumes. They both weren't phased by the masks, the wigs, the hanging skeletons or even the pyrotechnics and fog machines. People, this slice of suburbia doesn't mess around.

Happy Halloween!

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Tuesday, October 27, 2015


Beck wanted to say hello before we kicked this thing off.

I'm pretty much sold, convinced, putting my foot down that I will never snapchat my life. One of my friends tried to talk me into it a few months ago and I was like NO, HASHTAG NO. No one (especially me) needs another vehicle for social media these days. No one. But then I secretly got an account to spy on The Bachelorette and her new fiance and it totally won me over. Well won me over enough to look at other peoples snaps. ;)

But! I do love the idea of Snapchat...a way to share basically all the junk that is too boring and basic to put on Instagram...which is what makes it brilliant. It's not polished and it's not filtered and it's so fun.

I take a decent amount of video clips on a weekly basis because I have such great memories of watching family videos every Sunday growing up. I feel like I'm building a little haphazard daily video journal of our life. And I figure now was the time to share! Which was something the internet was *clearly* missing.

Come a-freakin' board, mateys!

We'll let the video titles serve as captions as well.

Easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy posting at it's finest. #lazy

I know.

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Wednesday, October 21, 2015


Chirp, chirp. Is anyone out there?

Maybe just one or two.

That's good enough.

I know what the question of the hour is.

Where have the glory posts of yore been?

I'll give you the quick recap.

Last post ---> glued to   ---> Fall Break ---> flooded the master bath and bedroom ---> death of a hard drive  ---> the flood aftermath and chaos containment ---> colds.

And even right as of now I sit with a cough drop in my mouth*, debating whether or not I blog, nap, finish laundry, paint our closets, unload the dishwasher, or parent. Obv which one I picked.

Because blog! You poor neglected thing. Has it really been almost a month?

I admit, it was really nice to not have blogging on the table for a while. But now that I have less than 24 hours left of Fall Break**, I am clearly seeing the foreboding gap in my schedule. And so it's back to you, blog. It's always back to you.

But all in good time. When our hard drive crashed we were able to get salvage some of our pictures and videos onto an external hard drive, but we lost a lot in the process. It's breaking my heart knowing that some videos of the boys in their early munchkin state are lost forever. I've been printing pictures almost every month for the past few years and have them all in albums, PRAISE ALL THINGS GOOD, but here's my PSA for the year.

- Back it all up and back it up good.

- Back it up like a boss.

- Back it up like you Beyonce.

- Back it up.

Posts, updates, diatribes, potty training chronicles and such coming soon to a blog near you.

Ahh it feels to good to be back.

* and ** thanks to the main subject of this blog, the childrenz, this short post took almost 24 hours to complete. so the timeline is a little off but we're rolling with it.

As resident oldest child Rhett feels it is his right, duty, obligation, gift to the world to manipulate his brother's emotions. ^^^

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Wednesday, September 30, 2015

bad joke

So, if my title gave you anxiety that this post was going to be negative, let me just clear that up right away by assuring you that this post is, indeed, actually about bad jokes. Specifically the ones perpetuated by my hilariously unhilarious children.

It should be noted that Rhett actually tells most of the jokes, but Rad is always there to cue the requisite laughter.

It should also be noted, that Rad finds Rhett a certified comedic genius.

I'll let you be the judge. ;)

Joke #1

Rhett: Knock knock

Us: Who's there?

Rhett: Chair (or insert any other random object)

Us:....Chair who?

Rhett: Chair on my heeeeaaaad!

And then they both laugh like minions and tell the same joke about 50 times using different objects.

Another? OK.

Joke #2

Rhett: Knock knock

Me: Who’s there

Rhett: Dragon

Me: Dragon who?

Rhett: DRAGON FIRE that burns your bum!!!! (Cackles maniacally)


Seriously, people. He would keep at this winner, using the exact same wording and tone of voice, until the breath left his body if I didn’t eventually crack and hide in the bathroom after the 42nd repetition.*

Joke #3

This one is more of a story -

Rhett: Once upon a time, a man went to the moon. He took a bite out of it and he glowed FOREVER.

Cute the first time. Not so funny the other 9,999,999,999

But he’s not the only Knock Knock Joke Offender.

Rad's comedic contribution is to yell "JOKE!" and then laugh like this....

(If the interwebs aren't in a good mood...HERE)

It's always Saturday Night Live here.

*I have to admit that they tell their “jokes” with such enthusiasm and personality that I genuinely crack up every single time. Pin It

Monday, September 28, 2015

Rhett and Rad chat

^^^ these were taken from the night of our talent show debut and found in archives. As I remember Rad felt like he had already preformed enough for the cameras. Rhett felt otherwise.  

Overheard from the couch:

Rhett: Rad say tattoo.
Rad: Dadoo
Rhett: No. Taaaaa-tt-oooo
Rad: Daaa-d-ooooO!
Rhett: Rad. This is a really important word.
Rhett: Cause we're getting tattoos for Christmas.

Julia: Yeah. Heck. No.

Listening to a Shakria song in the van-o-fun:

Rhett: (singing)
Rhett: I'm pretending I'm the black woman who sings this song.
Rhett: (continues serenade)
Family: (exchange looks of confusion and concern) 

In the wee hours of the morning:

Rhett: MOM
Julia: Ehhhh
Rhett: (whispering) I have magic pee.
Julia: Ehhhh?
Rhett: I peed in my underpants but none of it got on my bed.
Rhett: MAGIC.

Singing (literally) in the shower:

Rhett: “Mary had a little lamb, its fleas were white as snow.”

And now that Rhett is spending more time away from our loving home we get some quips from friends...

After school pick up:

Rhett:My Grandma Dot died when I was zero months old… I mean right after I turned 15. I think someone threw a bomb at her and it exploded. Or her house caught on fire.
Tyrell and Everett: (Laughing) 
Rhett: Guys! It's not funny. She was made of wood and burned up. It was really hot.

And also with Tyrell, his second mother:

Rhett: Hey Tyrell, you know how I got blind?
Rhett: I went for a walk and a poison branch fell on my eye. That's why I'm blind"

Annnnd from the ever expanding vocabulary of Rad:

A potty training moment:

Julia: OK, now go potty.
Rad: Tay.
Rad: One, three, four, weady!
Rad: Set...
Rad: Go pee!!!

A MDSA (Mother Desperately Seeking Affirmation) Moment:

Julia: Rad I love you.
Julia: Do you love me?
Rad: I wuve Diego.
Rad: Go Diego go!!

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