Monday, June 20, 2016

and then there was kindergarten graduation

Kindergarten graduate Rhett and his fan club. 

Beck and Rad where stoically proud of their biggest brother. Stoic.

What's this?? Our first born has conquered the academia of of kindergarten with flying colors? Consider us epically proud of our special snowflake. We fully understand that if it wasn't for amazing teachers and Rhett's ever expanding inquisitive nature, he wouldn't have learned half of what he did this past year. Jake and I are pretty decent parents on many levels, but I would pretty much never bet on us handling all of the boys education solo. 

And of course no school year would be complete without the fantastic tradition of kindergarten graduation. I know my kid was in it, but man it was adorable. 

All us proud families smooshed ourselves into the bleachers with the pint sized leg room (poor Jake!) and got to know each other reeeeal well for the ceremonies. Beck has an love of pulling arm/leg/head/eyebrow hair and the father sitting next to us who had plenty of hairs that he wanted to examine . I love when our first introductions to people start on such a personal note. "Hi...we're the Millers. Our youngest is a big fan of your leg hair(s). Big fan."

The newest graduates showed off their hard work and catchy songs. One number was America the Beautiful and Rhett assured us we would cry happy tears when we heard him sing it. Indeed, we found it very sweet. Rad and Breckie (Breckie is Rad's BFF and Everett's sister and Everett is Rhett's BF and also in his class) really enjoyed getting down to the kindergarten beats. And wait till the end...Rad as a special update for you.

If you don't speak Rad, he tells the camera that he "tooted" or in other words passed gas. I'm so glad that's in the records for all of time.

The kids all talked about what they wanted to be when they grew up. Rhett's planning on the lucrative career of a ninja and one of his classmates wants to be a dog. (Rhett wanted to be a cheetah a few moons ago so I feel like he and this boy are on the same vibe.)

Mrs. Burghart...the saint of all teachers. Rhett is in love with her and so are we.

Among other things learned this past school year, Rhett learned he has a definite type for his childhood crushes. Long dark hair being the leading attraction. The puppy love stats for the year include three girl friends, two engagements and countless conversations on his thoughts were on what love meant.

Rhett: I'm in love.
Rhett: Like grown up love.
Julia: Oh wow. What does it feel like to be in love?
Rhett: Like an avalanche where you have to run for your life.

Other favorite conversations: when he came home and asked for a Spider Man wallet and my wedding ring so he could get married (nope) and when he mentioned that girls like him because he let them give him hugs. The boundaries talk followed right after that statement, worry not.

I remember filling out a sheet asking what we hoped our kids would have learned by the end of the year and I wrote something lame and subpar like "that he can spell his name" and now Rhett can read and spell and write sentences and knows addition and subtraction, so God bless kindergarten forever and ever amen. (And at this rate he'll surpass my book learning by third grade. But really....fractions still aren't my strongest subject.)

Congrats Rhett!

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Tuesday, June 14, 2016

the millers go to a wedding

Two weekends ago (because blogging in real time is my specialty) William and Emily got married.

William is: my littlest brother, the uncle the boys reference daily, closet hipster ;), and now new husband (!) married the sweetest girl you'll ever meet (truly! she is).

Isn't Emily's dress gorgeous? She looked like a princess. The most gorgeous princess in all of the land.

As with all trips I like a good recap so let's bold and categorize the highlights and lowlights...

the flights: highlights 

 + weren't that bad! The kids bad mood blips were fortuitously timed as other passengers were boarding our flights and neither flight was full so-rows to ourselves!!! Halleluiah. The biggest hiccup came when Beck got in a mood about wanting to hit the man in the seat in front of us of the head repeatedly and wouldn't stop shrieking/body flinging for 25 minutes. Granted he was beyond over tired and a little hangry so all's forgive this time B. 

Rhett was probably the only person in the plane to actually read the safety instructions and raise his hand to ask a question, about the flight attendant lead safety demonstration. Rad just had a plethora of questions.

"What if the windows open?"
"Where's the kitchen?" 
"How many days till we land?"
"What happens if I'm thirsty?"
"Why are the clouds white?"
"How old is the man sitting next to you?" 


flight lowlights: 

^^^ anyone whose flow with kids or on a flight with kids knows this pose.

+ Ranking in order from most poorly behaved to the best behaved: Beck, Jake, Rad, Julia, and Rhett. Jake + airports have a complicated relationship. It's like we switch personalities and he goes from the most laid back human on the face of the planet to a Julia Miller (not laid back, never laid back, rarely fun). So he was a real treat when we missed our first flight (despite being at the airport a little over an hour early) and I could tell he was struggling not to give me a "I told you so..." look. 


The pre wedding festivities: Highlights

- showing the boys around my old stomping grounds. A "creek" runs through my old neighborhood and the boys cautiously examined the water bugs and all the allergies (allege) in the water. Every time we travel the boys are in total and complete awe of the jungle aka actual trees and grass, that grow in other parts of the US of A. Which makes Jake and I feel like we're depriving them of one of the basic rights of childhood. 

^^^Normally the boys love the swings so color me shocked when Beck's eyebrows frantically shot into "save me!" mode. But I still insisted he swing till I could take this commemorative picture.

+ the world series of Wiffle ball per tradition is always one of my personal favorites. Jake got his confidence boost for the year by hitting every ball at bat over the house. Rhett also gained a lot of confidence with some legit big hits of his own. 

+ Not pictured...but everyone's caloric needs were grossly over compensated for and my parents being hostesses with the mostestes preping meal after meal of the best food for the masses

- My first mani pedi combo ever. I went crazy and chose a vibrant gray after my first choice, white, was out. They call me Go Big or Go Home Miller.  

- The hotel pool. Considering AZ is the land of the backyard swim shesh you'd think a pool wouldn't be that much of a thrill for the boys but hotel pools have a extra magic. And eye burning chlorine.  

- Beck discovered his calling in life: very serious splashing with absolutely NO smiling. Even massive and accidental gulps of water that choked the professional splasher did not deter him from his task: splashing sans smile. (The stoic splasher kept with that theme the whole weekend and mean mugged everyone.)

- Rad also discovered his calling in life in the pool: motivational speaker. He chanted "Go Rad! Go Rad" Go Rad!" has he pulled himself along the pool wall perimeter. 

The kids also had the BEST time with their aunts and uncles, cousins, grandparents. 

The pre wedding festivities: Lowlights

Jane (my sister) and I had big plans for a cute cousin pic but Beck had a 1 picture limit.

We tried to push him...

And he pushed right back.

Rad literally could have cared less. 

Well, home slice cared about no one touching his newly beloved ribbon wand. Priorities are strong with this one.

The guess the highlight of the lowlight was now we have an epic picture for them to recreate when they get older. ;)

+ Short story. We were super lucky to have two adjoined hotel rooms which has anyone with little light sleepers knows is so helpful. The bog boys were going to have their own room and Jake and I were going to bunk with Beck but the big boys were a little nervous about sleeping in the big beds and Jake and I were nervous about them bursting into our room in them morning and waking up Beck. So the solution was me sleeping on the floor between their two beds. Hotel musical beds is our jam. Anyway. One deep slumber I felt a crushing weight smash down on me mid dream. Scared the freaking hootenany out of me. The culprit? Rad. Who remained totally asleep after he fell out of bed and landed on me. It was as terrifying and bruise producing as you might imagine. 

And lastly the wedding: Highlights

+ We cleaned up really well. #humblebrag If I was the Bachelorette (bahahahah!) I would give Jake all the roses. ;) And I wish I would've gotten a shot of the back of my hair - my mom treated all us to a real salon hair-do and they did a stellar job AND it didn't fall out during dancing.

+ There was dancing and Jake perfected the mocking of my full body tantrum dance and I got down to his cautious two step rhythm default.

+ Rhett mastered the YMCA and has continued to YMCA anytime the mood hits.

The wedding: Lowlights

+ Six minutes before we were supposed to leave for the reception I put on the dress (that I had ordered from online) for the first time because I have many genius moments. I quickly realized it was 1000% see through. Miss Miley would have loved it. While I was freaking out Jake decided we just needed to run to Target because being a few minutes late to the reception/ring ceremony was a lesser faux paux that showing up with all the little details showing. I thought Jake would run in to get the slip but he had no idea what a real slip was/is so I shimmied a t-shirt around my waist under my dress and flew through the store trying not to trip on my heels to get it. It was loads of F.U.N. 

+ At the very beginning of the reception festivities Rad absolutely had had had to use the bathroom and so he ran to the facilities sans help from a parental unit. After he has resolved the urgent issues he stepped out into the full swing of the reception with his dropped khakis and Superman unders barely pulled over the important parts. That was very very quickly resolved and honestly I was just thrilled that he wasn't distracted with all the reception fun to make it to the bathroom so we'll just sweep his stint as an exhibitionist under the rug.

+ Having Beck, the mean mugging, stranger hating child of mine, whisked out of my arms on the dance floor by a strange lady...when we eventually found the kidnapper and little B (screaming) the lady told me to 'bring him back when he calms down!!'


Congratulations Emily + William!!
Welcome to the married club - the best of all the rest. :)

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Monday, May 23, 2016

Rhett and Rad chat

In the wilds of potty training Rad:

Rad: I'm too grumpy to potty train today.
Rad: I'm just not in da mood to potty train.
Rad: I'll just wear a diaper today, please.
Rad: I just want to be a baby and Rhett can be the big boy.

Upside vs Downside:

Rhett: You smell like vanilla ice cream and pineapples.
Rhett: And you're really nice and squishy.

After school:

Rhett: "OH MY GOSH WHY IS MY LIFE SO HARD?"  as he did his homework with crayons.

The theme of Rad and Beck's brotherhood:

Rad: Tan I shoot Beck with my laser gun?
Julia: No!
Julia: Do you understand why?
Rad: Cause I didn't say pwease?

Watching Beck power crawl across the living room and face plant on the rug:

Rhett: Come on Beck.
Rhett: Pull yourself together.

Hanging out in the bathtub:

Rhett: Well, Rad.
Rad: What?
Rhett: You just need to know that girls grow babies in their bellies and boys grow big poop in theirs.
Rad: Oh.

Which is possibly what prompted this idea:

Rad: (running to the bathroom) I'm just a little boy and my body is full of POOP!

A slow brewing fight:

Rhett: Rad! Stop it!!!!
Rad: NOOO!!
Rhett: Stop being a pest!!!
Rhett: Well your mom doesn't like you.
Rhett: And she likes everyone.
Jake: Did he just quote Justin Bieber?

Playing "Who/what am I thinking of?"  in the van:

Rhett: I'm thinking of someone white and fluffy.
Rad: (without missing a beat) JESUS!!
Rhett: (exasperated) Rad. Jesus isn't a white guy.
Rhett: But I think his beard is pretty fluffy.

Seeing a picture of this guy on my FB feed:

Rhett: Who is that?
Julia: Donald Trump.
Rhett: Hmmmm.
Rhett: He doesn't have any friends, does he?
Julia: (Insert the deepest belly laughs)

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Monday, May 16, 2016

short stories

Taking a whole month off of blogging means I have so many lose ends to to type out in a grand catch up post/trilogy/dramatic TV mini series. There are far too many photos on my phone that I refuse to part with...mamarazzi needs her memory bank. SO while the little men nap...into a post they go.

Read on if you're not swamped with life.

Look at this fine art masterpiece.

It's OK if you bust a chuckle. I do eeeeevery time I see it. If you wanted to know what kind of 80s mom hair I'd be rocking back then- question no more. Bouffant hair all the way.

My poor kids. When it comes to anything remotely crafty or creative or art-oriented...I'm what you might politely call, "challenged." I swear there was a glitch in the old brain building system in utero with me because try as I might, beyond coloring books and crayons...I just can't.

Rhett however, art masterpiece creator. Latest creation: the vampire sloth.

He said he felt "lots of inspiring" while making it.

Jake found this ominous warning when he drank the milk out of his cereal bowl courtesy of Godfather Rad. 

Every year we've been married Jake has had a garden of some variety in the summer. And every summer we've yielded a big fat zero in produce despite Jake's best plant wooing skills.  But this year! This year was the year of the carrots. 

Lots of carrots!

And even more miraculous bunny food bounty, romaine lettuce and a handful or snow peas. 

If Rhett and Rad had their way they would subsist solely on chicken nuggets, peanut butter with apples/pretzels/toast, goldfish crackers, taquitios, and the latest additions of black olives (Rad) and raspberries (Rhett). So, I guess I have to admit that they are kind of a picky eaters -- minus the kind of.

So when they both excitedly dug into the lettuce (dipped in ranch) and snow peas it was a jaw dropping moment in our house.  So gardening.  It's is the best! Who knew?!

Lately when we go outside to play - the big boys usually race bikes and scooters ("tooters" from Rad's mouth) down the driveway over and over and over again while Beck makes and samples rock + grass + sidewalk chalk + dirt casseroles in his lap over and over and over again. To each their exotic own.

Our neighborhood backs up to this stretch of desert scenery and flowering cacti. We've loved trailblazing the clearly marked paths with our fellow outdoorsy friends. One Saturday we we went on a walk (some might call it a hike due to the hill situation but we won't get into the nitty) and had a good time with many snack breaks.

Rhett and Rad decided to change up the dress code toward the end. They like half-naked, casual hikes.

And no desert hike would be complete without a snake meet-n-greet. All the boys made BFFs with the creature like he was a fluffy puppy or Pixar woodland creature.

When the snake loving children of mine got the idea that I might want to also touch the snake, my insides died a little. My current fearset goes a little something like this: predators, people not liking me, snakes, chapped lips with no chapstick around, and running out of diapers. So snakes are my bronze medal fear.

And for right now the boys think I'm a decently cool mom but I'm confident that reign is coming to an end. So if touching a snake keeps me in their cool graces then I'll do it.

Heebie-jeebies the whole time. Cringe.

Rhett's school had their biggest fundraiser a few weekends ago, their Spring Spectacular.  We had a limited amount of post Beck's afternoon nap/pre-bedtime time but we made the most of it and even with the perfect evening weather and all the school's families in attendance, we didn't have to wait in any significant lines (minus the roller coaster line. That was fun.).

I'm fairly certain that Rad died and ascended straight to heaven because the boy loves a good ride.
Rhett might have had a touch of kiddie ride PTSD  after a very tame kiddie roller coaster fiasco of 18 months ago so he took a little bit longer to warm up to the idea of risking the merry-go-round.


Rad marched right up to the (very tame) kiddy "roller coaster" and got himself all set in one of the cars and insisted and insisted and insisted and insisted that he wanted to ride it.

And the little dare devil loved it. And so did Rhett. Which literally made my heart so happy because I love all roller coasters and have many grand dreams of us hitting up the mega coasters over the years. (Note: Jake likes some roller coasters but is much more particular about which he deems not too extreme.)

And one last short story.

Jake's work had a family day and we felt like we couldn't not go because socailzing and free family fun and so...we went! It was such a fun time and they had pony rides led by humans set up for the kids. The boys were so excited and happily waited in line for their turns in the saddle.

First up...

No issues, happy as a clam on a horse. Kentucky Derby here he comes.

Rad was slightly less enthused once he got on stage but managed to ride around with no tears and flirted with smiling for the briefest of seconds.

And that's all.

For now! ;)

Happy Monday. 

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