the silver lining in the struggle

Guys. I've been overwhelmed with the kindness that has been showed to not only me, but also our family over the past 3 weeks. I'm more and more convinced that we know the nicest people in the world. We have been beyond blessed and I am on my second box of thank you cards and I'm afraid there aren't enough such cards to express our gratitude. (However I have no idea when I will deliver all said cards. You might get yours in 3 to 6 months.) And I'm convinced that Netflix was made for parents who just can't do anything more than lay on the floor while their children eat lots of cereal. #godblessnetflix #godblesscaptaincrunch

As an update on how I'm doing, I'm a lot better than I was a week and a half ago. A spike in my temperature and a trip to the ER determined I was not dying (I really felt like death was a knocking on my door) but rather that the flu was knocking. We had been warned that my immune system would be pretty much useless because of my meds and that any "normal" symptoms would be heightened because the meds also just make me feel like poo.

Rad gave me a head cold so I'm recovering from that, but I don't feel nearly as bad as I did with the flu. Pretty much I have the same schedule as a cat or newborn because I can be up for around 3 hours before I get super shaky/nauseous/throbbing joints, and then I'm in bed napping and gaining energy for the next 3 hours. Our bed and I have become great buds. And don't ask about the night sweats. (I'll tell you anyway.) OMG I am a freaking sweat-o-holic. Poor Jake. Who wants a sweaty wife?

But really, I wanted to list some of the silver linings that we've seen over the past month, if for no other reason than for our memory.

1. Despite Jake needing to be home more than normal, he's being really blessed with the opportunity to earn income for next month. His job is 100% commission so you can imagine how taking time off isn't good for us.

2. The boys have been welcomed into loving homes and treated so well by those who have watched them. And our families have gone above and beyond.

3. Rhett has been so great about being a helper. He reminds me to take my medicine, lay down in bed and comes in for snuggles.

4. The boys and I have spent a lot of time reading books together. It's been really sweet to get out a lot of books we haven't read in awhile. Often I feel too busy to enjoy reading to them.

5. Because my nausea coming and going I eat whatever appeals, when it appeals. I don't know if I'll feel up to eating later, so I eat when I'm hungry. I know that might sound silly, but for years I've counted calories every single day. I'm too tired to now, so it's been nice to just eat when I'm hungry before the nausea sets in.

6. We're going to bed earlier. We're kind of night owls but now we're getting way more sleep.

7. Our family time is better. Simpler. Instead of feeling like we need to do everything, we stay home and watch the boys play, eat dinner on the floor and we do a lot of movie watching with blankets and pillows. It's really nice to slow down.

8. This kind of goes with number 5, but instead of being on our phones at night, or me feeling like I need to squeeze another item on my to-do list into the day, we talk more.

9. I'm realizing the the world continues without me. I don't mean this in a morbid way. At the risk of sounding really self righteous, I often feel like if I don't stay caught up on everything then our family life will fall apart. But since I'm not doing much at all I'm seeing that maybe I could relax my super strict self imposed standards.

10. I'm learning a lot about grace. I've always known and believed that God will always help with the big stuff, nut I'll admit that for the small stuff I often put too much faith in myself. But now, when things like taking the laundry upstairs makes me want to cry, I realize how much I need His help for small things and how He is very mindful of us.

Beautiful flowers left anonymously by someone who wanted to brighten my day. They did. :)