the smorgasbord

Grandeur and depth central today!

I've been sitting down to blog everyday last week but have been having a hard time putting half a cohesive strand together. Rutty rut rut over here.

I've been hoping to glean some inspiration from my usual sources but they have been pretty boring lately:

+ Rad hasn't learned any new tricks to report...we're working very hard on his handstands but he just can't quite get it...yet. Remedial little boy.

+ He has however gleaned the concept of "the loophole." Gladiator takes lots of swings and punches...usually they are just aimed at the air that's all up in his personal space, but occasionally they make contact. So after the multiple times of responsible parental course correction and instruction Rad has found his favorite loophole. The head butt. He gives the side eye and then bam. Noggin extraordinaire makes contact.

+ And lastly, nothing currently makes him angrier than a parent trying to dispose of one of his pungent diapers in the big trash can on the side yard and not taking him with for the adventure. He loves throwing anything away in the garbage can and always walks away clapping his hands when he disposes of non garbage worthy items.

+ I have this anxious pit in my rapidly expanding belly that Rhett is jumping ahead a few years and entering the gross-9-year-old-potty-humor phase.  An hour of his life is not complete until he makes someone smell his feet and give him the exaggerated, "ewwwww" - even though exaggeration is never necessary because his feet smell truly terrible. Jake says they are going to ruin all of his chances with any ladyloves in the future and I think Jake is right.

+ Rhett's also entering a hippy-new-age-guru-naturalist phase (should have seen it coming with his love of being outdoors in the nude...) were he insists on only drinking LEAF water. Leaf water. You don't know what leaf water is? Well here's the recipe. Leaf water is filling Aunt Jane's left behind Smart Water bottle, letting it chill in the fridge to a crisp sip and then pour it into a sippy cup. But! Lest it sound too deliciously refreshing, be warned...apparently leaf water is poison to anyone but Rhett. Which means my days of secretly chugging water out of a sippy cup when I forget my H2O bottle are over.

+ Jake. His life has been taken over by two things. Assembling recent IKEA purchases for the baby and boy's rooms and working out hard core in his truly awesome attempt at getting back in shape. (He's doing so good!) His thoughts on both endeavors?

IKEA:

"All I do is assemble. I'm a freaking avenger."

GYM:

"I don't dance at the gym. (after he filled me in on his updated playlist) I do my pah duh boo-rays. (Pas de bourrées)


+ And me? Let's just say that at Chick-fil-a a week or so ago I was about to eat a waffle fry when I dropped it. Unable to find it (to clean up! not eat off the ground)  I moved on. About 2 minutes later I leaned back to stretch and found the missing fry on the shelf that is now my belly. Response? "Oh there you are!" and I ate it. (Cringing emoji)

All hail Queen J, the classiest prego on the block.