Surprised by Joy

I've only been riding the motherhood train for 4.9 years so about 5 years ago I was very pregnant with Rhett and totally pumped and ready to be the next Mother Teresa/Eve of the 21st century and give my acceptance speech at the annual gathering for the Order of Angelic Mothers. Ha.

Five years and three boys latter, I've learned that motherhood isn't meant to be easy and breezy and that it isn't some idyllic dream filled with hazy moments of happy and contented sighs. Most of the time it is draining and frustrating and interrupted only briefly by super fulfilling minutes that make up the hours that make up the days and years that I will eventually tell some young mother are "so short."

They say being a mother is the most important job in the world. It's such a cliché, right? But, for me, it's true. It wasn't until I became a mom that I felt like I'd hit my stride in life. That I'd found my purpose, that I was doing what I was meant to be doing. The feeling of knowing I'm on the right path that had eluded me for years was suddenly so all encompassing. Being a mom is the most important thing in the world to me. Every single day I feel so fortunate to be able to be what I am, and what I love to be: a mom.

I've learned how important it is to take a breath of fresh air and to be able to laugh at things that would normally make you cry when you are in the trenches of motherhood. Sometimes in the super fun moments like trying to get showered in the morning and having your two year old take off the clothes you just put on him and insist on climbing in the shower with you and then he uses all of the peach scented shaving cream you bought to offer to your legs as penance for their hairy, neglected state, to cover his armful of hot-wheel's cars he brought in the shower with him...in those moments you just have to laugh.

Motherhood is not for the meek, weak, selfish, tired, or unorganized and yet...here I am. It's a pungent, exhausting, and never ending privilege to spend my days with my kids - even when they drive me to exciting new levels of crazy.

But really truly, despite, and honestly maybe because of the crazy...being a mother has allowed a certain peace to come over my heart. I am exactly where and who I need to be. And each and every day teems with joy...certainly not every moment (think diarrhea in the bathtub)...but absolutely every day.

Motherhood is such a wonderful, strange, crazy, priceless thing.

PS. Full disclosure...I hope that my children will freaking know and will one day understand how hard this gig is...but mostly, I hope that they have really nice things to say about me at my funeral.

^^^because really....