I started this blog about 3 years ago, when Rhett was only a few months old and Rad wasn't even in the picture. I wanted a place to post furniture that I had refinished, to create good design and beautiful things to be shared. A place for my hobby to be cultivated. It fulfilled my love for creating, introduced to me over time to some incredible people, and was just a fun hobby for me as a new stay at home mom who was pretty lonely. Blogging came into my life right when I needed it.
Over the years my blog has grown, evolved, ebbed, flowed. I hit weird spots. Sometimes my head got big. Other times I felt very small. I tried lots of things, and I could because this place was mine. I watched blogging change. More recently, the changes I’ve seen, coupled with the huge changes in my own life, have slowed this place. I have countless projects I want to do, goals I want to reach, ideas I want to share, things to write, but little time to create them and less time to write about them. Sometimes, the desire is missing, too. I’m just not sure about blogging anymore. I guess more specifically, I'm unsure exactly what I want to blog about.
I told Jake a few weeks ago that I really only wanted to blog about our lives. Our family. No more furniture. No more DIY projects. No more stressing about amazing tutorials and beautiful pictures. I've stopped doing that almost completely anyway. I felt a huge weight lifted immediately. That sounds so dramatic and over the top and for that I’m sorry, but it’s true. I’ve loved sharing furniture I've refinished, projects I've done. To say I don’t have the desire to really do that here anymore feels weird. I’m tired of stats, numbers, people trying to climb some invisible ladder to nowhere. It’s changed. I miss the old days. It’s time for me to stop for now.
My kids (!!!) are the center of my world. Rhett is coming up on FOUR. Rad is A YEAR OLD and time is flying. I want to document this time. Currently I am having some intense inner turmoil (dramatic again, I know) about where our family will be in the next year or two, and I want to make sure that I'm enjoying and documenting this short, brief, often difficult but still magical time of our lives. I want to make sure my energy is going toward my little family being cultured and nurtured.
I'm not saying that I'll never post updates of rooms we're working on, our backyard overhaul, or an easy dinner that I might actually cook one day. I feel like this post is becoming dangerously close to a brain dump, but what I'm trying to say is that I'm done blogging about things that aren't about our family.
Being a mom to two little people who need me leaves me no time to try and have a foot or hand in everything. I do believe that I can have it all, but that I can't do it all. You don't get everything all at once and all the time. It doesn't work that way. It's just not my time to work toward some of my goals. I know that time will come. Over the years I have fallen in love with design, art, and learning about creating beautiful environments. One day, I hope to be able to do that full time.
But now my children deserve all of me for these short, short years where they are small. While I am still lucky enough to be their everything. I don’t want to miss my opportunity, and I’m sure I will struggle with wanting to achieve certain goals that I originally had when I started this blog, but they are all that matters. It will be over before I know it, and I refuse to let anything get in the way of being present with them.
So in conclusion of this rambling post, if I wasn't clear, I will only be blogging about our family life from here on out. I don't know if that will mean blogging more or less. Somehow deciding that this will be just another "mommy blog" is hugely liberating.