pink eye is for girls

"Pink eye is for girls, red eye is for boys." -Rhett

Lil Rhett might never know what actual red eye is thanks to the miracle of photo editing apps and filters, but yup, he knows what pink eye is. And so does Rad and so do eye (I). Because sharing is caring right? Right. And it's Murphy's law that your old year old discovers your eye lashes the same time that his eyes are sealed shut with goobies. Sharing is caring. 

Both boys had/have terrible smoker's coughs and high fevers (the fevers have broken praise the lord) and fire hydrant noses. Even though Rhett pretty much lost his little voice he would say, "it's gonna be ok guys" after each of his and Rad's coughing fits. It melted my heart so I couldn't help but immediately forgive his 2am, 2:41am, 3:17am, 4:03am and 5am attempts to commandeer our bed.

Rad spent all of last week and is currently still a sick little guy with a super oozy nose. He woke up with a very impressive dried booger crustache and goatee the other morning. It's always the death round of a cage fight trying to chip the snotsicles off.  Wipe his nose and risk death by high pitch scream and flailing limbs.

Rhett's list of illness is most impressive. Pink eye, stomach bug, double ear infections and strep. He passed the pink eye and stomach bug onto me and Rad. Jake got some sort of flu and it's not fair to blame Rhett for passing that on to him, but I also don't know if the 17 load of laundry I've done this past week is fair either...so...

Speaking of laundry produced because of bodily fluids...toddler throw up is one of the saddest things ever. I'm always torn between saving the carpet and my shoulder becoming their portable receptacle and saving the carpet usually wins out. They are so confused and just want to be held even if it means being super glued together from their stomach's contents. So while I really am super sympathetic to their poor plight, I prefer to first toss my now unrecognizable shirt and the blanket that is dripping with fun into the washer before the smell wakes the neighbors and before we get into post-puke cuddle time.

So we're pretty much at this point where our Netflix account is really earning it's keep this month and I bought an extra large bag of Dum Dum's to sooth miserable children because parenting standards are moot in the face of the Plague.

As a side note, I don't think that my pre mom self ever thought about how good I had it when I was sick. Carbonated beverages, lovey dovey chick flicks, naps for hours, a day off of school/work/whatever. I would have told myself back them to enjoy them as much as possible because all that ill-borne luxury would come to a screeching halt once the tiny humans arrived. Do I sound like a bitter betty? Maybe. Four hours of a sleep a night for a week will do that to a gal.