on repeat

on an daily/hourly/minutely/secondly (not a word, I know) my vocab consists of 50 words. on a generous day 77 words. tops.

just call me DJ Yo Momma because, seriously, I'm pumping out some super sick, super repetitive beats, scratches and wiki wiki action. emphasis on repetitive. 

no
please no!
please stop whining
sssshhhhhh
where's your shirt?
where are your pants?
why are you nakie?
no, no and no
who wants a sucker?!?!
what time is it?
i love you doodle bug.
stop whining
ssssshhhhhhhhhh
where's your sippy?
it's gonna be OK.
no
can you be a big helper?
please share
stop licking your brother!
your transformers are under the couch honey
stop whining
no, NO
that's not a toy
where are the wipes?
let's go outside
rhett come back!
do you want some gold fishies?
no, that's my drink.
the itsy bity spider...
momma needs some privacy.
privacy please!
who played with my make-up?
do you need a new diaper on your bum?
come back here, you need a new diaper on your bum.
don't take your diaper off!
stand up
sit down
lay down
stand up
come here
go over there
no no no no
you have a booger
let me get your booger
don't freak out
calm down
I almost got it
come back I need to get your booger
yes that was the funniest joke ever.
you are so funny.
that joke is still really super funny.
please be gentle
don't push Rad
be careful wrestling your brother!
please be gentle!
shhhhhhhh!!
do you need a nap?
nap time!
why aren't you napping?
i'm calling your father.
where's my phone Rhett?
oh dear
yes, sloths are my favorite too.
and dolphins.
and doggies.
no we can't buy a brown dog.
gentle, please
you do have big muscles!
who wants a snack?!
hi Rad, those are my eyelashes...
and those are my teeth...
let me check your diaper
why did your draw on your face?
do you want a bath?
who wants bubbles?
don't cry, come snuggle
no, no, no
you can lick Rad, don't lick me
gross
sorry Rad
i love you guys
and always no to playing in the potty
sorry

DJ Yo Momma signing out.

wiki wiki.

the last redo: a flora and fauna highboy

So I'm a liar liar pants on fire. (On a related note, have you seen this. Hi-larious.) 

I said that I was done with refinishing furniture, but I had this gathering dust (literally) in our garage. You can see what it looked like before here. 

My rational 29 year old self tells me that a dresser is an inanimate object and shouldn't give me that many problems, but apparently I'm the kind of person that can be bullied by things that don't have brains. Because this dresser gave me a bazillion issues and made me have to think way out of the box. 

Truth. I fully redid this dresser 3 times before coming to the final redo. Dedication baby. Or insanity. 

So here.

Behold...

Before Julia. 

After Julia.

Flowers. Enough Said. Who doesn't love flowers? Maybe I got my obsession from Aubrey Hepburn in My Fair Lady (I've a right to sell flowers if I keep off the kerb. I'm a respectable girl: so help me, I never spoke to him 'cept so far as to buy a flower off me) but I love me some floral and fauna.

I was concerned with it looking too much like either a. a wedding cake b. something circa 1986 or c. a hippie flower power tribute. I hope (and think) that it doesn't look like any of the above 3 possibilities. Maybe I made this dresser's life a little better? Yeah. I think so

At first this dresser gave me a truck load of unforeseen challenges. When we brought it home, I thought it would be a quick update because the lady had some good bones. But then the carved boarders threw me and the hardware and OK really that's only 2 things but it felt like a lot more. I tried painting it pink and painting the boarders white. Flop. I tried painting it light gray and doing a Miss Mustard Seed detail job. Flop #2. So I shoved the dumb dresser into the corner of the garage and left it for months.

I'm not really sure how the idea of the flowers came to be. My sewing fabric skills are a big fat zero so my sweet friend Heather made the flowers and I love the that it's not a traditional dresser, but that it's not on the train to funky town.

A few more deets in case you're interested.

The original boarders were filled with wood filler.

The paint color is Antique White by General Finishes.

The knobs are Hobby Lobby.

The fabric for the flowers is a basic cotton blend and I attached them with a dab of super glue.

And one more Eliza Doolittle quote because isn't she everyone's favorite flower girl?

The difference between a lady and a flower girl is not how she behaves, but how she is treated. 

Well said Ms Doolittle. Well said. We'll call this dresser Eliza after you.

so much to say, so little time 9

Conversations with a 3 year old are fantastic.

Passing each other in the kitchen:

Rhett: Hey there sweet pee pee!

Translation: Sweet pea

Marching around the backyard carrying a bag of cut up carrots:

Rhett (to Rad): If you want a carrot Rad, you gotta say please and I love you the most Rhett.

Rad: Mama.

Rolling in the Accord for weekly errands and being the world's grumpiest toddler: 

Julia: Rhett you don't need to be so angry. 

Rhett: Yeah I do mommm! Don't you see my angry eyebrows!

At the bathroom in the library trying to keep Rad from touching every germ filled surface while Rhett takes FOREVER with his "pirate-cy":

Julia: Rhett? Honey...? You almost done...?

Rhett: Not yet mom. I gotta go potty like dad does. Give me 5 more minutes.

Laying on our bed with Rad being sickies: 

Rhett (leaning over within an inch of Rad's crustache): Rad you got more boogers than me. That's pretty awesome.

Charging up to me at the park:

Rhett: Mom?

Julia: Yeah dude?

Rhett: I'm sorry I freaked out a lot this morning. (He did. A lot.)

Rhett: I just had a lot of gas.

Julia:

Becoming a victim of Rad's adoration:

Rhett: Rad!

Rad: Laaaa!!!!! (Trying to climb on Rhett.)

Rhett: Rad I am NOT your toy!!!

Play doh-ing it up at the table:

Rhett: Yesterday I was baby Rhett and Mom you were a little girl named Bart. 

Julia: Ummmm

Listing off a mile long list of snacks he wanted:

Jake: You've got a lot of demands Rhett.

Rhett: Yeah...I'm a man.

He earnestly pled to wear this to church. Because, "Jesus weally weally weally loves doggies Mom."

the family pictures and a gallery wall dilemma

I'm going to do it.

I'm going to put you through looking at our newest batch of family pictures.

I'm a narcissist - you're a bff!

If you want to pass the family schmooze fest you can do 4 big scrolls down. No hard feelings, promise.

photo credit Bird on A Wire Photography

As an honest Abe disclaimer, most of these pics are us restraining (snuggling) the boys to keep them from running away. 

You will stay. You will smile. You will act like you really really really want to say cheese.

Or Rhett's version is yelling "cheese booger!!!" I'm pretty sure he means cheese burger because a cheese booger is just too gross to think about.

I am an XL-XXL coward when it comes to taking family pics. I average one hour of sleep and seven hours of Pinterest paddling/tootsie roll popping/fear for my marriage before I propose it's time for another round of a family love fest. Jake knows that he'll be presented at least 5 possible coordinating outfit combos, that I'll ask him a million times to make sure my pores are black head free (TMI?) and that the day of I'll be 50 shades of cray cray. 

All in the name of a happy, natural looking family picture. I know. 

But really, truly we love these. That picture of Rad with the lion. Be still me motherly heart.  

And I don't know what it says about us, that we have more pictures of us in our home than any other art. Especially that it's pretty much the first thing you see when walk into our home.  

As soon as Walmart delivered the prints I took the gallery wall apart and put all of the new pics up. It was a labor of love because Rad decided it was a great time to nuzzle my knee caps; hence why the frames are ever so slightly wonky. 

If you look back at this post, you'll spot the difference that the tribal-ish looking platter is now missing. I just wasn't feeling it in terms of the what I want for the rest of the "space."

So this is my first world dilemma. Help me out. I need something to fill that space now. I'm thinking either a wreath or some galvanized metal letter(s). Should I explain? Ok.

I like the idea of a wreath because I really liked the shape of the platter. I'm thinking something like this, this, this (my fave) or this. But cheaper. Because $100 for a wreath kind of blows my "ordering from the dollar menu is the 11th commandment" mind.

Orrrr...the slightly cliche and over done metal letter(s). I'm kind of a sucker for some cliches and I know down the yellow brick road I'll want to bring some metallic into the room. I'm just not sure if this is how I want to do that. I did try this letter (in a M for Miller for a little extra cliche-ness) when it was 20% off and free shipping, but it was WAY to in your face, and today was brought to you by the letter M, kind of deal. So then I thought about doing the first initial of everyone in the house, but since we tend not to branch out too much with names it would be J, J, R and R. So I'm thinking maybe of doing Miller, but like this, with these: 

Is that weird? Could we add any more narcissism to the wall?

And is it too much to ask for your input after making you look at our family pictures AND offer advice? Probably. But thanks in advance bff.

And now go rest your eyes.

They're fatigued after being raked over such a picture and word heavy post. 

rub a dub

Wake up at 6:07?

Bath at 7:15?

Breakfast at 8:32?

Bath again at 11:20?

Sounds like a plan!

The bathtub doubles as our playpen and I'm sure the water company loves us. Maybe one day we'll have an actual pool, but for right now the boys think the master bathroom tub is Olympic size and it's always a good time had by all when the boy's tidal waves start churning over the tub's sides. Or until someone stands up and the other someone gets handsy. Anatomy 101 usually leads to the instigator getting a face full of projected tub water.   

Anyway, things started getting board-ish yesterday so Tweedle Fun and Tweedle Funner decided pumping out a healthy amount of baby shampoo all over themselves and the bathroom floor  would be a suitable good time. Cool. Not their greatest work but the bathroom smelled fresh and weirdly clean and it was much better than cleaning up disintegrated diaper that gets chucked over the upstairs balcony. And now my floor is as as slick as black ice. But I digress. 

Rhett has gleaned that if he toots in the water he makes bubbles. Bubbles make Rad really excited so it's the circle of life motif once Rhett gets started. 

Rhett: "Watch me make bubbles Raddie!" 

bubbles made

Rad: "Bahhhhh!!! Mamamam!!!"

Julia: 

Rad loves to stick his head under the running faucet and always pulls his head out with a ginormous, "I'm so pleased with myself" smile and 9 times out of 10 some sort of booger issue. He also loves to throw the toys out of the tub (over and over and over again) and when I fetch them (over and over and over again) he looks at me like I'm the coolest mom evvva. Thanks dude. 

With Jake gone with church stuff tonight you can bet that the bath tub will be a source of quality entertainment. And bubble making. 

13/52

a portrait of my children, every week, in 2014

Rhett and Rad: Matching $7 Ninja Turtle T-shirts from Target are our jam round here. When I was corralling the boys for their weekly pictures for posterity (social media) the plan was not to have Rad have an emotional break down. But really, who ever plans on having an emotional break down?  I'd give him a 6.7 on the emotional richter scale for this one, but really I'm glad to have caught this on camera. When Rad loses his sense of emotional propriety he often turns to Rhett for cuddles and comfort. For Rhett that usually translates that into trying to wrestle the whining out of Rad, but Rad still goes back time and time again. 

(Rad's tears came from me trying to brush his hair. The inhumanity mother.)

pink eye is for girls

"Pink eye is for girls, red eye is for boys." -Rhett

Lil Rhett might never know what actual red eye is thanks to the miracle of photo editing apps and filters, but yup, he knows what pink eye is. And so does Rad and so do eye (I). Because sharing is caring right? Right. And it's Murphy's law that your old year old discovers your eye lashes the same time that his eyes are sealed shut with goobies. Sharing is caring. 

Both boys had/have terrible smoker's coughs and high fevers (the fevers have broken praise the lord) and fire hydrant noses. Even though Rhett pretty much lost his little voice he would say, "it's gonna be ok guys" after each of his and Rad's coughing fits. It melted my heart so I couldn't help but immediately forgive his 2am, 2:41am, 3:17am, 4:03am and 5am attempts to commandeer our bed.

Rad spent all of last week and is currently still a sick little guy with a super oozy nose. He woke up with a very impressive dried booger crustache and goatee the other morning. It's always the death round of a cage fight trying to chip the snotsicles off.  Wipe his nose and risk death by high pitch scream and flailing limbs.

Rhett's list of illness is most impressive. Pink eye, stomach bug, double ear infections and strep. He passed the pink eye and stomach bug onto me and Rad. Jake got some sort of flu and it's not fair to blame Rhett for passing that on to him, but I also don't know if the 17 load of laundry I've done this past week is fair either...so...

Speaking of laundry produced because of bodily fluids...toddler throw up is one of the saddest things ever. I'm always torn between saving the carpet and my shoulder becoming their portable receptacle and saving the carpet usually wins out. They are so confused and just want to be held even if it means being super glued together from their stomach's contents. So while I really am super sympathetic to their poor plight, I prefer to first toss my now unrecognizable shirt and the blanket that is dripping with fun into the washer before the smell wakes the neighbors and before we get into post-puke cuddle time.

So we're pretty much at this point where our Netflix account is really earning it's keep this month and I bought an extra large bag of Dum Dum's to sooth miserable children because parenting standards are moot in the face of the Plague.

As a side note, I don't think that my pre mom self ever thought about how good I had it when I was sick. Carbonated beverages, lovey dovey chick flicks, naps for hours, a day off of school/work/whatever. I would have told myself back them to enjoy them as much as possible because all that ill-borne luxury would come to a screeching halt once the tiny humans arrived. Do I sound like a bitter betty? Maybe. Four hours of a sleep a night for a week will do that to a gal.