Wednesday, January 11, 2012

An awkward conversation about strippers

This is a true story. 

It all went down at the grocery store checkout.

Me: Hi, how are you?! (To cashier)

Cashier: Good, how's your day going?

Me: Oh fine, I've been stripping all day so I'm tired. 

Cashier: You've been stripping...?

Me: Yeah, that's why I look so dirty right now. I feel gross. 

Cashier: That's understandable....(major hesitation).

Me: Usually my husband helps me, but he's at Disneyland today so he left me to strip by myself. 

Cashier: Just STARES at me. 

(At this point I realize he looks super uncomfortable and the older woman behind me is staring at me with her jaw slightly dropped.)

Me: Lightbulb moment and instant embarrassment. 

Me: Oh no no NO! I'm so sorry! I restore furniture, I was using a CHEMICAL stripper to get old finish off, I'm not that kind of stripper...even though I'm sure they are very nice people, I'm a mom, this is my son....and I ramble until the cashier hands me my receipt and I bolt out of the store. 

Bahhh.....I really don't think I can shop there again. Ever. 

We need to move. 

I'm blaming this whole embarrassing moment on all the chemicals I inhaled today. 

Curse you acetone. 

(And I thought of putting a picture on this post, but lets face it. There is no classy way to do that.)
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  1. Bwahahahahaha! Excellent. I love a good "stripping" story.

  2. I LOVE this! Thanks for sharing :) I had something similar happen when I asked a librarian where the "adult videos" are. I just meant not Barney and the Wiggles, sheesh!

  3. Haha...that is hilarious. I have so many of those moments and end up just running and vowing never to go back to the store again.

  4. Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Tell me you wear a mask?

  5. That is a hoot! Why don't all people understand us? So funny!
    Stacey of Embracing Change :o)

  6. O lordy, thank you so much for giving me my first giggle of the day lol. I thought I was the only one that made bloopers like that!
    I can just imagine the rambling you ended up in trying to explain that one away.
    Thanks for sharing.

  7. Too funny! We furniture "strippers" do speak a different language.

  8. Bahaha! I love it :) You made me smile

  9. That's awesome! Thanks for the morning laugh!

  10. OMG - Too funny! There are actually tears in my eyes from laughing so hard. Thanks for sharing.

  11. Julia, so funny! Thanks for making me smile today.

    PS we miss you guys!

  12. hahahaha oh my goodness! The fact that it took you that long to realize that you were using stripping in the wrong context just proves you've been around chemicals too long today. You're a hoot!

  13. I always find these kind of conversations hilarious because people always take them the wrong way. :)

  14. Too funny! I can only imagine what that cashier was thinking to himself.

  15. I think I just peed a little!!!!!!! I LOVE that story :) Hilarious and totally something I would do.

  16. bwahahahahaha! that's sooo hilarious! you poor thing. guess those fumes did get to your head a bit, huh?

  17. Haha. I love that you not only had this conversation, but that you willingly strike up conversations with cashiers. It's okay, they probably won't remember you. But, they definitely will write about you on your blog.

  18. That's so funny! I hear your pretty good at that stripping stuff! Haha!

  19. Oh man...reading all of the comments was almost as good as reading your story. I would have just about died! Thanks for the laugh :)

  20. This is so HILARIOUS!!!!! Once I put on FB status that I was exhausted after a day of really hard stripping. I was SO SORRY I wrote that. Every man that likes to tease me, including my husband had a great time with that one. Well, at least you gave the cashier something really funny to talk about at dinner tonight!!!

  21. That is the BEST! Thanks for the laugh!

  22. Oh my...SO funny! I linked it to my FB page!

  23. Bwahahahaha! So sorry, it had to be the fumes! I did this to myself at the thrift store. Picture petite grandma type checking people out. I bought an ugly painted shelf and as I paid for it, I said, "Now I just need to find a good stripper." She looked at me with bugged out eyes and asked if I'd like to attend their prayer group session. LOL, I realized what it sounded like then.

  24. No only did your post make me laugh hysterically, the comments are a whole 'nother level of funny! Thanks for the belly laugh...It's so much more fun than pilates!:)

  25. LOL!! That story just gained you a new follower. Hilarious! ...and from looking around your blog, it looks like youre good at what you do ;)

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I really appreciate all of your thoughts and comments! They bring a smile to my face!