Friday, August 29, 2014

earning their keep

Next time the kids don't complete their usual chores to earn their keep (laundry folding, floor mopping, bathroom scrubbing, wall washing, and Saturday brunch making...BIG WINKS) in a timely and efficient manner I'm going to threaten them with, "You better get your acts together or I'm going to make you put on your bathing suits and wash the car with you're favorite bucket of water and hose."

It's bound to scare them into submission every time. 

We run a tight ship round the Miller house. 

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Wednesday, August 27, 2014

A SYTYCD audition tape with love, from Rad.

It's apparent I've been favoring Rhett lately in blog post content and other social media outlets and I am all about being an equal-opportunity mother so here are some clips of Rad doing what he does best... dance dance dance. The boy is still holding strong with his one word, "woof" but he cuts a mean wood floor...

Rad thinks any time the music is on it's time for a dance-off. I'd say he's always a winner...don't want to crush any self-esteems at such a tender age.

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Monday, August 25, 2014

once upon a new school year

Our summer started off cheerfully enough with journal entires such as "Day 1of Mom Summer Camp went unexpectedly well, we wrestled all day. ALL day son(s)."

The next few days went very well. Happy campers abounded.

Then day 10 came.

Day 10 found me screaming at the kids.

By day 11, I was no longer on speaking terms with my family.

I was terrified at what day 25 would bring. And to think about day 42 made me think the fetal position was the way to go. Possible journal entries might have been along the lines of "The kids might be out on the street with a sign reading, “Free to a good home."

Then, a few ago I contemplated writing this final blog post, thinking that I may not have much time left in this never -ending-circle-of-summer-vacation-with-daily-temperatures-averaging-110-degrees-life:

"I don’t have long now.  I am very weak. The outcome of summer vacation with my kids is unclear, but I want you to know I held out for as long as I could. I waited. Every day I waited, scanning the horizon looking for re-enforcements. But they never came. I’m determined to put up a valiant fight, but in the end I may not be strong enough."

(OK OK OK guilty person numero uno over here with the definitely overly dramatic recap of summer vacation. We really did have a lot of fun and I do love the time with the boys. But the last week-ish almost pushed me into PTSD mode with all the whining and "I'm board" chants.)

But then the heavens opened and it was the first day of preschool!! Halle-freaking-lujah.  Structured, fun, educational activities that wouldn't result in a time out for all those involved.

So yes, Rhett started preschool a week ago. He goes three afternoons a week and you've got to know I'm trying not to feel guilty about loving it.

The guilt is assuaged by the fact that he gives preschool 2 thumbs way way up and Rad is thrilled to pieces with the first moments of one-on-one time he's (sadly) really have had. And don't worry, the house isn't too quite. Rad is very happy to fill in as resident chatter box.

Rhett comes home and commands everyone (me and Rad) to stand and say the Pledge of Allegiance followed by a dramatic unveiling of whatever happens to be in his back pack. I'm sure the nominees for an Oscar feel a similar sense of anticipation akin to what Rhett wants us to feel when he pulls the construction paper art piece out of this bag. If you're looking for a killer art exhibit come check out our fridge. (Editor's note: the art exhibt lasts as few hours as possible and then gets put into storage or the recycling. Don't judge. At least I recycle them...right...?)

Following the Pledge of Allegiance and back pack ceremony, he usually tells us about teaching the chickens ninja moves and that he doesn't like that his friend Max called his Max Steele toy Batman (a conversation they had literally a year ago and just as literally get's brought up at least twice a week). Rhett then lays on the couch, stretches, and says he's "had a really big day."

A few more highlights...

- Rad has gone from talking in no word grunts ("dogh, dogh!!!") to talking in incomplete "sentences" of grunts with maybe a word thrown in ("mmmmmm, dada, all done! brrrrr. br. ba.") and should I give all the credit of that to Rhett's voice not echoing through the house all day? Of course not but it's a funny coincidence. At least once a day Jake or I say to the other, "he's actually kind of talking (that's a generous way of looking at it but...) it's crazy" because he was content to live in the shadow of Rhett's prattle for so long and we'd just gotten used to life with our strong and silent caveman.

- The first day I dropped him off and Jake had a free hour coinciding before Rad's nap. To kill time we popped down to DQ to enjoy a blizzard. And with only one kid in tow that pretty much qualifies as a hot date.

-We drive by Miss Debbie's neighborhood relatively often and almost every time Rhett chants out loud "the rules are, be nice, please listen, share, share, share and NO pooping in your pants!!" and I'm as good as sold.

Preschool forever and ever.

And a few pictures from our first day of school photo shoot. And per normal, in front of the lovely white wall.

^^^Best picture of them yet. If he becomes a preschool drop out there's always the option of being a mob boss.

^^^Faux first day of preschool for the lad in the diaper.

And just in case these lead anyone on to believe these pictures come easily...the outtakes.

^^^Please burn this one from your memory. Thank you. 

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Thursday, August 21, 2014

i'm so fancy, you already know

First thing's first, I'm the realest (realest).

Drop this and let the whole world feel it (let them feel it)

And I'm still in the Murda Bizness

I could hold you down, like I'm givin' lessons in physics (right, right)
You should want a bad _____ like this (huh?)

Drop it low and pick it up just like this...
High heels, somethin' worth a half a ticket on my wrist (on my wrist)

Takin' all the liquor straight, never chase that (never)
On the rooftop like we bringin' '88 back (what?)

I said, "Baby, I do this, I thought that you knew this."

Can't stand no haters and honest, the truth is
And my flow retarded, they speak it depart it

Swagger on super, I can't shop at no department

Better get my money on time, if they not money, decline
And swear I meant that there so much that they give that line a rewind

So get my money on time, if they not money, decline
I just can't worry 'bout no haters, gotta stay on my grind

Now tell me, who that, who that? That do that, do that?

Put that paper over all, I thought you knew that, knew that

I be the JU-L-I-A, put my name in bold
I been working, I'm up in here with some change to throw

Still stuntin', how you love that?

Got the whole world asking how I does that

Hot girl, hands off, don't touch that.

I'm so fancy.

You already know.

People seem to be all up on the Throwback Thursday business, so I figured I should dedicate a whole post to catch up with the who-dat - who-dat crowd.

Thanks for indulging my little trek down the fanciest of memory lanes.


And thank you Ms. Azalea for writing a song that's so in tune with the daily grind round these parts. 
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