Wednesday, April 30, 2014

no mas niños, more siesta

Lest anyone think I really think I hablo Espanol, I know a total of ten words. Words like taco, burrito, guacamole and uno, dos, tres. Ole!

Where's my sombreo?

Anyway. Great start to a post Julia. Really keeping your readers attention.

So 3 and 1/2 years ago we were blessed with a bouncing baby boy who required very little sleep to maintain his then sedentary lifestyle.

Fast forward said 1275ish days and the sleep to kid to parent ratio is still heavily in favor of the kids and not even close to being fair in the sleep department. My dark circles have gone from dainty to druggie raccoon.

So when my soon to sainted in-laws offered to watch our posterity for 2 days so that we could escape we were almost too tired to say heck yes. But we did. And we packed up our rolly bag (twice because Rad thought it appropriate to empty it. 14 month olds don't realize the necessity of People magazine.) and hit the road to a local Hyatt less then 30 minutes away.

Let's leave the kids and take a selfie. We can call it "responsible parenting".

And Rad keeping vigil for our return.

This is where the post gets a little PG-13.

Because we did what every married couple would want to do for 13 hours straight.

It starts with a S.

Sleep people. Sleep.

By PG-13...parental goodnight for 13 hours. What were you thinking? Geeze Louise.

Jake asked if we should make ducks faces to go along with our post 13 hours of sleep selfie celly shot? We did and you're welcome.

See the dark circles? A liar I am not.

And it would be nice to insert some awesome deets of stuff we did while we were away, but really it was a lot of sleeping, eating, sleeping, eating, reading, going to the movies, eating, eating, eating, sleeping.

Totally true story. We ate that much.

A free cookie from the front desk. Why yes we'd enjoy that. 

Party rockers in the house tonight...

We did go on some walks around a local park and the temple grounds. I tried to convince Jake it was a good photo op and he responded: "You take way too many pictures."

Every party has a pooper....

And to be 100% honest with you dear was a little uncomfortable being without the kiddos at first. I mean we were happy to not have the back seat driver duo sharing their thoughts on everything from preferred sippy cup color and asking what every song on the radio is about (which usually leads to reconsidering song choice...) but it was a little bizarre. Kind of like a awkward first date.

Julia: Do you think we'll say "shablam" when we get old?
Jake: I don't say shablam now.
Julia: Oh.

Rillll good conversation going on.

After I complimented him on how handsome I thought he looked he said, "Tell me something I don't know."

And after two nights of good sleep in a row Jake commented, "Wow you're in a good mood. It's weird."

Let's do this again real soon.

I like being in a good mood.

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Wednesday, April 23, 2014

razzle dazzle

The kids are successfully melting my brain. I know...crazy Julia...doing bizarre things like writing blog posts with titles that are entirely pulled out of hat.What's next? Confusing the kid's names?! Posting with lowly I-phone pics?? Wouldn't that be something else...

This kid is the best baby in the whole wide world during the day.

And the worst baby in the whole wide world during the night.

OK maybe not the worst baby because we have fortunately passed the new born sleep stage. But not by much.

It is as almost as funny as it is frustrating to watch the sweet cherub morph into a tyrannical crazy pants as soon as he gets even a whiff of bedtime. Consistency is his middle name because we vary nary a smidgen off the beaten path of back arching, sticking limbs through crib slots, screaming baby obscenities, and other hysterics. He then repeats this at midnight, if we're feeling lonely 4:30AM and the again 6:30AM before he decides to permanently greet the day at 7:27AM. I love the turkey, but the only thing I miss at 4:30AM is the previous 6 hours of sleep. Any suggestions on how to remedy the whole ridiculous routine? Other than crying it out. That's not really my thing. (PS he is teething something crazy so I know that has to do with the night time shenanigans.)

He's lucky that throughout the day he is always weirdly, dopily content, naps pleasantly, tolerates Rhett's abuse, dresses himself, performs his daily chores without complaint, rubs my feet and smiles on command. A very lucky duck indeed.

Easter was good. Jake didn't have to be at church at 6:00 in the AM, which meant that our home had a much more Christlike vibe while we got everyone ready for church. I often feel like God is not super pleased with how our Sabbath starts out when it's just me home getting the boys to accept that Yo Gaba Gaba jammas are not exactly what we wear to church. Usually if I feel like I can go to church with a relatively low guilt complex for my mothering that week, I get sufficiently humbled on Sunday mornings. Religion with toddlers: bribery with suckers to make them sit and be reverent.

We do Easter baskets on Saturday in an attempt to help (mostly Rhett) the boys to differentiate between the Easter bunny Easter and the Christ centered Easter. One thing we don't do in Easter baskets is that horrible green grass. Can I get an amen?

Rhett'd outgrown his push bike so although it seemed to generous to give credit to the Easter Bunny for, we got him a pedal bike from Walmart.

While picking it up we got Rad a bike seat so he can cruise in the lap of plastic made in China luxury. It's really been the best to pack them up and cruise around the block. I'm thinking of making mine the mini van of bikes complete with basket, water bottle holders and a bell.

Poor Rad had a rather small potatoes Easter compared to the grandeur of the bike. He got a large clear/glittery kick ball. But bless his last-in-the-line-up heart he loves that ball.

Rhett's sunday school teacher said when asked what Christ did for us he responded with "Jesus made it OK for my Mom to say sorry cuz she told me no so much."

And that is just about all folks.

Wave wave.

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Friday, April 18, 2014

tomorrow's kind of a big deal

some times I get these big ideas and I think about them and type some notes on my phone...which is where they go to die. blurg. good thing nothing living and breathing actually can go on my notes. that would just be too sad.

i wrote this post a few months back introducing one of the few ideas i've ever had that has made it into fruition. (holy progress!) it's called Through a Child's Ears and it's a campaign and pledge to promote speaking kindly to kids and remembering to use words that teach, encourage and love. you can read more HERE in the original post, but for the most part is really is that simple of a campaign.

sometimes I'm afraid that it's too simple. i know that most parents and caregivers (myself included) really, truly believe in this. and maybe this is just me, but as much as i know how important it is to control my words and tone when i'm upset, i mess up. i think about my boys confusion when i’m unbearably impatient or downright snippy. i hear myself apologize for the third time in one morning and i just cringe at how i can't completely erase something hurtful that i've done.

even though it's a simple campaign and idea, I really believe that speaking kindly to our kids is the foundation for all other parenting goals.

sooo...tomorrow I'm setting up shop outside of Walmart to help spread the word. i might just lose my cool, calm and collected exterior that I'm trying to hold together and sob a little.

this is something I feel so crazy strong about and I have a this legitimate fear that someone is going to yell at me and I try to keep my emotions under control, because I want to spare everyone my super ugly crying face. it's truly horrible and Golem-esq.

so if you want to leave a little encouragement or wish on a shooting star or throw a penny in a fountain for tomorrow going smoothly you would make my day. and stay off the ugly crying face and spare humanity that misery. bonus!!

and if you want to go the total extra mile you can click HERE to Like Through A Child's Ears on Facebook.

if you don't like it ... i'll never know. but Santa will. ;)

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Thursday, April 17, 2014

catch up on the 52 project and the bunny hop

Well I'm a little late to my own posting. I've been trying to take a "portrait" (ie not an I phone masterpiece) of my boys every week for a year and with the onslaught of the bubonic and forgetting to charge the camera batteries, I'm about 3 weeks behind.

But it's all good. Because...well...the pictures below are cute...?? Check and check. (And ironically take with my phone...)

I taught Rhett the bunny hop because it just seemed like an appropriate Easter activity. But now little bunny foo foo wants to bunny hop all over very public places. I'm not at all opposed to doing a little (very appropriate) twerk in the frozen food aisle. But. I do kind of cringe when Rhett loudly proclaims that his mom and he "have fuzzy fuzzy bunny tails!!" coincidentally in the woman's supportive undergarment section. 

What are some fun Easter activities/traditions you would suggest? I feel like we are very behind in making Easter memories. With our kids who's time frame is either always yesterday or next day. But still. :)

A few of my favorite past weekly pictures thus far.

1, 2, 3, 4
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Wednesday, April 16, 2014

on repeat

on an daily/hourly/minutely/secondly (not a word, I know) my vocab consists of 50 words. on a generous day 77 words. tops.

just call me DJ Yo Momma because, seriously, I'm pumping out some super sick, super repetitive beats, scratches and wiki wiki action. emphasis on repetitive. 

please no!
please stop whining
where's your shirt?
where are your pants?
why are you nakie?
no, no and no
who wants a sucker?!?!
what time is it?
i love you doodle bug.
stop whining
where's your sippy?
it's gonna be OK.
can you be a big helper?
please share
stop licking your brother!
your transformers are under the couch honey
stop whining
no, NO
that's not a toy
where are the wipes?
let's go outside
rhett come back!
do you want some gold fishies?
no, that's my drink.
the itsy bity spider...
momma needs some privacy.
privacy please!
who played with my make-up?
do you need a new diaper on your bum?
come back here, you need a new diaper on your bum.
don't take your diaper off!
stand up
sit down
lay down
stand up
come here
go over there
no no no no
you have a booger
let me get your booger
don't freak out
calm down
I almost got it
come back I need to get your booger
yes that was the funniest joke ever.
you are so funny.
that joke is still really super funny.
please be gentle
don't push Rad
be careful wrestling your brother!
please be gentle!
do you need a nap?
nap time!
why aren't you napping?
i'm calling your father.
where's my phone Rhett?
oh dear
yes, sloths are my favorite too.
and dolphins.
and doggies.
no we can't buy a brown dog.
gentle, please
you do have big muscles!
who wants a snack?!
hi Rad, those are my eyelashes...
and those are my teeth...
let me check your diaper
why did your draw on your face?
do you want a bath?
who wants bubbles?
don't cry, come snuggle
no, no, no
you can lick Rad, don't lick me
sorry Rad
i love you guys
and always no to playing in the potty

DJ Yo Momma signing out.

wiki wiki.

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Tuesday, April 15, 2014

the last redo: a flora and fauna highboy

So I'm a liar liar pants on fire. (On a related note, have you seen this. Hi-larious.) 

I said that I was done with refinishing furniture, but I had this gathering dust (literally) in our garage. You can see what it looked like before here

My rational 29 year old self tells me that a dresser is an inanimate object and shouldn't give me that many problems, but apparently I'm the kind of person that can be bullied by things that don't have brains. Because this dresser gave me a bazillion issues and made me have to think way out of the box. 

Truth. I fully redid this dresser 3 times before coming to the final redo. Dedication baby. Or insanity. 

So here.


Before Julia. 

After Julia.

Flowers. Enough Said. Who doesn't love flowers? Maybe I got my obsession from Aubrey Hepburn in My Fair Lady (I've a right to sell flowers if I keep off the kerb. I'm a respectable girl: so help me, I never spoke to him 'cept so far as to buy a flower off me) but I love me some floral and fauna.

I was concerned with it looking too much like either a. a wedding cake b. something circa 1986 or c. a hippie flower power tribute. I hope (and think) that it doesn't look like any of the above 3 possibilities. Maybe I made this dresser's life a little better? Yeah. I think so

At first this dresser gave me a truck load of unforeseen challenges. When we brought it home, I thought it would be a quick update because the lady had some good bones. But then the carved boarders threw me and the hardware and OK really that's only 2 things but it felt like a lot more. I tried painting it pink and painting the boarders white. Flop. I tried painting it light gray and doing a Miss Mustard Seed detail job. Flop #2. So I shoved the dumb dresser into the corner of the garage and left it for months.

I'm not really sure how the idea of the flowers came to be. My sewing fabric skills are a big fat zero so my sweet friend Heather made the flowers and I love the that it's not a traditional dresser, but that it's not on the train to funky town.

A few more deets in case you're interested.

The original boarders were filled with wood filler.

The paint color is Antique White by General Finishes.

The knobs are Hobby Lobby.

The fabric for the flowers is a basic cotton blend and I attached them with a dab of super glue.

And one more Eliza Doolittle quote because isn't she everyone's favorite flower girl?

The difference between a lady and a flower girl is not how she behaves, but how she is treated. 

Well said Ms Doolittle. Well said. We'll call this dresser Eliza after you.

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Monday, April 14, 2014

so much to say, so little time 9

Conversations with a 3 year old are fantastic.

Passing each other in the kitchen:

Rhett: Hey there sweet pee pee!
Translation: Sweet pea

Marching around the backyard carrying a bag of cut up carrots:

Rhett (to Rad): If you want a carrot Rad, you gotta say please and I love you the most Rhett.
Rad: Mama.

Rolling in the Accord for weekly errands and being the world's grumpiest toddler: 

Julia: Rhett you don't need to be so angry. 
Rhett: Yeah I do mommm! Don't you see my angry eyebrows!

At the bathroom in the library trying to keep Rad from touching every germ filled surface while Rhett takes FOREVER with his "pirate-cy":

Julia: Rhett? Honey...? You almost done...?
Rhett: Not yet mom. I gotta go potty like dad does. Give me 5 more minutes.

Laying on our bed with Rad being sickies: 

Rhett (leaning over within an inch of Rad's crustache): Rad you got more boogers than me. That's pretty awesome.

Charging up to me at the park:

Rhett: Mom?
Julia: Yeah dude?
Rhett: I'm sorry I freaked out a lot this morning. (He did. A lot.)
Rhett: I just had a lot of gas.

Becoming a victim of Rad's adoration:

Rhett: Rad!
Rad: Laaaa!!!!! (Trying to climb on Rhett.)
Rhett: Rad I am NOT your toy!!!

Play doh-ing it up at the table:

Rhett: Yesterday I was baby Rhett and Mom you were a little girl named Bart. 
Julia: Ummmm

Listing off a mile long list of snacks he wanted:

Jake: You've got a lot of demands Rhett.
Rhett: Yeah...I'm a man.

He earnestly pled to wear this to church. Because, "Jesus weally weally weally loves doggies Mom."

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Friday, April 11, 2014

the family pictures and a gallery wall dilemma

I'm going to do it.
I'm going to put you through looking at our newest batch of family pictures.
I'm a narcissist - you're a bff!

If you want to pass the family schmooze fest you can do 4 big scrolls down. No hard feelings, promise.

As an honest Abe disclaimer, most of these pics are us restraining (snuggling) the boys to keep them from running away. 

You will stay. You will smile. You will act like you really really really want to say cheese.

Or Rhett's version is yelling "cheese booger!!!" I'm pretty sure he means cheese burger because a cheese booger is just too gross to think about.

I am an XL-XXL coward when it comes to taking family pics. I average one hour of sleep and seven hours of Pinterest paddling/tootsie roll popping/fear for my marriage before I propose it's time for another round of a family love fest. Jake knows that he'll be presented at least 5 possible coordinating outfit combos, that I'll ask him a million times to make sure my pores are black head free (TMI?) and that the day of I'll be 50 shades of cray cray. 

All in the name of a happy, natural looking family picture. I know. 

But really, truly we love these. That picture of Rad with the lion. Be still me motherly heart.  

And I don't know what it says about us, that we have more pictures of us in our home than any other art. Especially that it's pretty much the first thing you see when walk into our home.  

As soon as Walmart delivered the prints I took the gallery wall apart and put all of the new pics up. It was a labor of love because Rad decided it was a great time to nuzzle my knee caps; hence why the frames are ever so slightly wonky. 

If you look back at this post, you'll spot the difference that the tribal-ish looking platter is now missing. I just wasn't feeling it in terms of the what I want for the rest of the "space."

So this is my first world dilemma. Help me out. I need something to fill that space now. I'm thinking either a wreath or some galvanized metal letter(s). Should I explain? Ok.

I like the idea of a wreath because I really liked the shape of the platter. I'm thinking something like this, this, this (my fave) or this. But cheaper. Because $100 for a wreath kind of blows my "ordering from the dollar menu is the 11th commandment" mind.

Orrrr...the slightly cliche and over done metal letter(s). I'm kind of a sucker for some cliches and I know down the yellow brick road I'll want to bring some metallic into the room. I'm just not sure if this is how I want to do that. I did try this letter (in a M for Miller for a little extra cliche-ness) when it was 20% off and free shipping, but it was WAY to in your face, and today was brought to you by the letter M, kind of deal. So then I thought about doing the first initial of everyone in the house, but since we tend not to branch out too much with names it would be J, J, R and R. So I'm thinking maybe of doing Miller, but like this, with these

Is that weird? Could we add any more narcissism to the wall?

And is it too much to ask for your input after making you look at our family pictures AND offer advice? Probably. But thanks in advance bff.

And now go rest your eyes.

They're fatigued after being raked over such a picture and word heavy post. 
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