Wednesday, May 29, 2013

That time I got pulled over on the way to my emergency C-Section

One day (Feb 26th to be exact) I headed into my 38 week check up with my OB. We knew that Rad had some heart problems so I was being monitored twice a week to make sure he was doing OK. They hooked me up to the stress test monitors and it became apparent pretty quickly that Rad's heart was not doing well. His heart rate kept decelerating and getting dangerously low. Scary? Yes. My doctor came in and said that it was time for him to come out and that I should call Jake and head straight for the hospital for an emergency C-Section.

Slight problem with that was that Jake was still at home with Rhett who had woken up with the stomach flu, (usually Jake came with me to appointments) and we only have one car right now and we live about 35 minutes from my doctor. (When we moved into our house, I was over 25 weeks pregnant so I didn't want to switch doctors. Looking back I totally would have if I had known the health issues that we would face with him.) So I told my OB the situation and asked if I could go home, get Jake and come right back. Although he wasn't thrilled, he said that it would be OK so long as we didn't waste anytime. 

So I called Jake, told him to get everything ready, and hit the road. I was emotional and scared and praying that everything would be OK. Looking back, I think we might have done this differently. We might have tried to get a friend to pick up Jake or something like that, but at the time I could not imagine going to the hospital without him and since I had my OB's blessing we went for it. 

As I was approaching our neighborhood, I realized they had changed the speed because the construction that had just started on the road.  I was going 45, the normal speed limit, but because of the construction the speed limit had dropped to 25. I immediately hit my brakes but not before I saw the lights flashing in my rear view mirror. This sent me over the emotional edge and I started to sob as I pulled over. 

I pulled out my info as the officer approached and when we got to my window I tried to explain the situation. I could not even get 3 words out without him interrupting me and telling me to stop crying. When I finally managed to tell him what was going on he looked at me and said "You don't look pregnant enough to be having a baby today." and then walked back to his patrol car. 

Now I do carry small. I don't get very big when I'm pregnant. But I was so taken aback by his "doctors opinion" that I didn't know what to say when he came back. I tried to explain again what was going on and he told me to be quite and sign for the ticket. I started to cry again and I dropped his stylus pen as I signed for the ticket. He told me to get out of the car and find it. So I got out of the car on the side of a busy road, got down on my hands and knees and looked for the pen while he stood behind me and watched. I finally found it after about 2 minutes of looking (2 minutes can seen like forever!), handed it to him and again told him what a mistake this was. 

His response, "Well your life and your baby's life are not important enough to justify speeding." And then he walked to his car. 

At this point I was pretty much beside myself so I rushed home, got Jake and Rhett, and headed quickly to the hospital. 

Thankfully, everything worked out fine with the C-Section. We got to the hospital, Rad was born less than an hour later and his little heart is the biggest miracle  It's fine despite every scan and test that said otherwise. 

But I still had to deal with this ticket. Once we got home I wrote a formal complaint against the officer to his station and went to court to appeal the ticket.

Last week was my hearing and I went to court, gave my statement, showed the medical records from my doctor and the hospital, and expressed my unhappiness with how the officer had treated me. 

Despite everything surrounding the situation, I was still ordered to pay the ticket. ($300...) To be honest, I kind of think I should have gotten a warning. But it is what it is and I know we have laws for a reason. And in the end I am so proud of myself for standing up for myself and making it known how the officer kind of abused his authority. I'm not usually the kind of person to do that. 

I've realized from all this how hard it can be to forgive someone. I wish I could say that I've forgiven this officer, but I'm still working on that. It makes me so angry sometimes when I think about it  and I keep replaying in my mind what I said in court and what else I could have said. But either way I'm so grateful that Rad was born healthy. I know that years down the road this won't matter and I probably won't even think about it. The biggest lesson I'm trying to take away from this is that to really forgive someone you have to let it go. Let it go completely. 

I can't dwell on it or rehash it in my mind. I can't change other peoples choices. I can't try to understand why the officer was so rude, I just have to accept that he has his agency to act that way and I have my agency to chose not to dwell on it. 

So Mr. Officer. While I am working on meaning this with all my heart, I do wish you all the best. I hope you were just having a bad day. I hope that if you are going through a hard time that is making you rude and insensitive that it comes to an end soon. I hope that you know that I'm choosing not to think about you anymore. I really hope you have a good day today.

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  1. Oh gosh, just another added stress you certainly didn't need at that moment! Just so glad it all worked out. Enjoy your sweet boy! ... And as for that police officer, just don't even give him a second thought.

  2. That is unbelievable!!! Ugh. I'm so sorry that happened. You are a good person to forgive him!!!

  3. Wow. It is unfortunate he showed no grace to you in your situation. Obviously he never had a baby :)
    You showed forgiveness - commendable. It is not easy -

  4. Oh my gosh. That's crazy. Sorry you had to pay and that you weren't treated nicely. So happy Rad is healthy! :) Hugs...

  5. I seriously CAN NOT believe this! I can't believe he made a pregnant woman (eminently due or not) get down on the ground and find a pen! I'm glad that Rad is healthy and everything turned out OK. (hug)

  6. Life does throw you a curve-ball when you least expect it. I'm shocked that he commented on how pregnant you looked and made you look for the pen and all. Maybe he was having a bad day as well.

  7. OUTrageous. Seriously. I'm so glad you filed a complaint. He had no business making you get down on your hands and knees to find his pen. What a….. oh the words I could use...

  8. I read this post a few days ago and still can't believe what a jerk that cop was. I have told so many people this story and everyone was just as horrified as me. A few thought going to the media would have been a good idea. But you wrote this post about forgiveness, not revenge. I commend you, Julia. Well done.

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  10. From the looks of it, he must be only doing his duty as a traffic enforcer. However, I think he should’ve been more considerate about your condition. And I think he should be escorting you to the hospital, rather than pulling you over. Anyway, I’m glad that your child was born healthy and you were able to get out of that situation. It must’ve been a stressful event for you!

    Norma Richards @ Just Bail Bond


I really appreciate all of your thoughts and comments! They bring a smile to my face!